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Adult News

FOUND: Erotic cabinet cards from the 1800s

Couldn't find an actual date, but will guess these delicate, sensual images are ca. 1880s.  

Category: FOUND
Posted on 12/10/2008 3:52:01 AM by Gloria Brame

Proof: Vanilla sex is dangerous

And now the flip-side of my rant about how media always play up a story when whips and chains are involved, as evidenced by a story that's reported factually and with some sly humor. Despite the (minor) risks of freak accidents, straight sex (and its mishaps) are reported the way all consensual sex should be reported: playfully and candidly, without the kind of needless sensationalism and gory detailing that this would have received if the people involved were pervs.

A young woman in southern China has partially lost her hearing after her boyfriend ruptured her eardrum during an excessively passionate kiss, local media reported Monday.

The 20-something girl from Zhuhai, in southern Guangdong province, went to hospital completely deaf in her left ear, the China Daily said, citing a report in a local newspaper.

"The kiss reduced pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear," the paper quoted a doctor surnamed Li from the hospital as saying.

The kiss of deaf - Chinese man ruptures girlfriend's eardrum

Does this mean kissing is riskier than spanking? Hmmmm.

Categories: Sexual Health Sexual Humor Sexual Politics
Posted on 12/10/2008 3:51:02 AM by Gloria Brame

I am the bone

All night, my dogs have been playing out a power game over a bone.  Venus the poodle, who is older and wiser than her brother Apollo, has been setting traps for him, trying to get him to challenge her dominance so she can reign supreme.  She moves the coveted bone to a strategic spot that blocks Apollo's path.   When he comes near, she curls her tiny lips and bares her pearly teeth, until he tiptoes backwards, tail tucked.  Or she moves a few feet away from the bone and stares at it fixedly.  If Apollo prances anywhere close, she snarls menacingly until he cringes.  This goes on for hours until poor Apollo is paralyzed with anxiety, as I finally realize when I see him cowering behind a coffee table.   The only solution is to dispose of the bone so neither can have it, which I do.  In a few minutes, they will be napping, their tails bumping together affectionately once more.

That's how it usually works.  But for some reason, tonight, the poodle can't let it go.  She's wrapped herself around me and leaning tensely forward over the couch edge,  like a vulture ready to attack.  When Apollo tries to jump up and cuddle with us, as is our routine, she blocks him and mindfucks him and growls like she means it. WTF?

Ketzl figured it out first:  "Now you are the bone."

Category: Pets and Animal Love
Posted on 12/9/2008 5:21:08 AM by Gloria Brame

Burberry for Sadomasochists

On the rare occasions I've thought about Burberry, I've thought about that goofy classic plaid. Until now, when a random link led to another link, which led to what I can only describe as items from the front display case at The Leatherman, but with even higher prices.

Burberry - Jewellery - Accessories.

Were they always this fetishistic in their designs, or can we thank a kinky new designer for these dreamy baubles?

Category: Sex and Economics
Posted on 12/9/2008 5:20:11 AM by Gloria Brame

It's official: Men are turning into sissies

First it was manboobs, and now It's official: Men really are the weaker sex.

Evolution is being distorted by pollution, which damages genitals and the ability to father offspring, says new study.   --   The Independent.

Categories: Sexual Health Sexual Science and Medicine
Posted on 12/8/2008 7:58:24 AM by Gloria Brame

What good is it to look so good when you've lost your damn mind?

When Ketzl showed me this pic and the accompanying article a little while ago, I was so overwhelmed my mixed feelings -- most of them negative.

It's one of those photos that make you do a double-take. Dr. Jeffry Life stands in jeans, his shirt off. His face is that of a distinguished-looking grandpa; his head is balding, and what hair there is is white. But his 69-year-old body looks like it belongs to a muscle-bound 30-year-old.

from: Youthfulness a costly American obsession

I'm all for self-preservation, maintaining your looks, exercising, and all the rest. But, to me, a 69 year old man with a body a 20 year old would be proud to have is, in a word, gross. No surprise, of course, that he's injecting himself with human growth hormones daily. The biggest turn off of all is imagining how much time this guy invests in looking pretty. YMMV.

Do you envy him? Wish you had his commitment?  Wanna sleep with him? Think he's a freak?

Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture Sex and Culture Sexual Health
Posted on 12/8/2008 7:57:29 AM by Gloria Brame

JC Penny embraces the femdom esprit

Category: Post-Modern Pop Culture
Posted on 12/8/2008 7:56:30 AM by Gloria Brame

Boy George bondage fiasco

The verdict's in on Boy George, who was accused of nonconsensually handcuffing a male sex worker to his wall.  From what I've read about the case, it didn't seem like George was really taking the charges seriously.  I guess he will now: he's been found guilty.

British singer Boy George was found guilty on Friday of falsely imprisoning a Norwegian male escort by handcuffing him to a wall.

The former Culture Club frontman was at Snaresbrook Crown Court in east London to hear the verdict, which came at the end of a two-week trial.

Boy George guilty of imprisoning male escort

And speaking of skanky people going to jail...any predictions on what will happen to OJ in the slammer? I'm thinking that, given his arrogance and egomania, one of these years he'll end up spilling the beans on Nicole to a cellmate who will trade the info to a DA to get a deal.

Category: Sex Laws and Crimes
Posted on 12/7/2008 7:12:49 AM by Gloria Brame

Post turns classic triangle into twisted SM tangle

Leave it to the increasingly mentally disabled media organization, the New York Post, to take an inherently tragic tale of lust gone wrong and turn it into pulp fiction with a Victorian moral edge.

In their coverage of the murder of a NYC lawyer at the hands of a prodom's mentally anguished stalker, LAWYER'S DEADLY SECRET, the Post describes the events as SLAIN BY S&M MADMAN OBSESSED WITH VICTIM'S WHIP-MISTRESS GIRLFRIEND.   Oy.

The story is gruesome yet classic. A pretty young woman splits her affections between two men and a dangerous rivalry develops between them. Things gradually escalate to a horrifying but almost predictable climax: violence. In this case, the ultimate form of violence: murder. The murderer also kidnapped the woman. She convinces him, after a long ordeal, to let her go. Before the cops can arrest him, the killer kills himself. Two dead men, one traumatized woman, and more questions than answers.

I think I caught this on Forensic Files last month. Haven't we all seen or heard such stories before?

What makes this case a bit different from most, of course, is the bondage gear and fetish clothes. From time immemorial, jealous husbands, boyfriends and suitors have committed similar crimes. Jealous wives and girlfriends too. They are shocking. They are tragic.  And they occur in all communities-- straight or gay, Christian or Pagan.  But, oddly, no one ever points the scabby finger of judgment at vanilla sexuality. No one ever describes a vanilla murderer as "limp-dicked overcompensator" or calls the female victim "cock-crazy girlfriend." No one mentions if the male victim enjoyed wearing a Speedo and snow shoes in the privacy of his home.  As long as the victims are presumed to be vanilla, no one dishonors their memories by leering into their sex lives.

It perpetually disgusts me how media consistently reports on SMers in a sneering and callous fashion, as if they weren't human beings with families who suffer and grieve.  It's as if people who wear leather or like to cross-dress don't deserve the same right to privacy granted those who have missionary-position sex.  It's crazy!

I realize it's status quo for the Post to suck every drop of marrow from every bone they pick, and it's pointless to take them seriously. Still, by placing so much emphasis on the victims' sex lives, the Post implies that there is a correlation between consensual SM and violent behavior. And that, in its ignorance and factual innacuracy, amounts to hate literature against SMers. Precisely the kind of fodder that anti-SM proselytizers use as ammunition to deny us civil rights.

(shout out to Stanly for sending me the link to the article in the Post)

Categories: Sex and Sadomasochism Sex Laws and Crimes Sexual Politics
Posted on 12/6/2008 10:34:09 AM by Gloria Brame

Re Tricia Walsh-Smith: I think she's gone

Unlike me, you probably don't feel *compelled* to look at everything and anything vaguely related to SM and human sexual behavior.  In which case, it's possible you (oh lucky you) have missed the mini-pop-sensation that is Tricia Walsh-Smith, a British ex-wife from hell who has taken revenge on the bastard who broke her heart by posting a series of videos on youtube to announce her sense of betrayal to the world.  Indeed, she's become something of a cult figure -- another fact you may not know.  Because, you lucky SOB, you don't have to spend hours of your day tracking down such high cultural relics as these.  You probably get to spend your free time gaping at Shiba Inu cam, like a normal person!

Nonetheless, Ms. Walsh-Smith has now stepped into OUR territory by making a BDSM music video.  Though, God, it pains me to use those words to describe it.   But the deed is done, the video's on youtube and, Inu or Nonu, I have to bring her to your attention.

Ecce "I'm Going Bonkers." 

Posted on 12/6/2008 10:33:17 AM by Gloria Brame

Transgender transformation of the mind

A fascinating little mind game played out in a researcher's lab has produced astonishing results that should be of particular interest to perverts and people who enjoy role-play.

Researchers using closed-circuit televisions to create an illusion have made volunteers virtually swap bodies, even making women believe they were in a man's body and vice-versa.

The experiment, reported in the Public Library of Science journal PLoS ONE on Tuesday, shows it is possible to manipulate the human mind to create the perception of having another body, the Swedish researchers said.

Swedish researchers create body-swap illusion.

Imagine being able literally to transform your mind temporarily so that you could absolutely believe you were the (fill-in-the-blank) of your wildest dreams.  Imagine if the transformation was so real to you that not for a second during this experience would there be any underlying awareness that you were anything but what your mind says you are.

To a sadomasochist, the ramifications are staggering. If you can fool a brain into believing one is a member of the opposite sex, can you fool the adult brain into believing one is a piece of furniture? a four-legged creature? a child?

One of the toughest parts of being a kinky person with a transformational fetish (where you become something or someone other than you are in your daily personae) is verisimilitude. Even when you look the part, even when you believe in the part, sometimes it may still seem like a part.  It's hard to block out what the mind knows.  But with such a gadget, the mind only knows what the person running the test wants it to know.

My depraved imagination reels at all the possibilities this research opens. 

Categories: Sex and Sadomasochism Sex and Technology Sexual Science and Medicine
Posted on 12/6/2008 10:32:19 AM by Gloria Brame

Flotitta

Sure, sure, they probably all washed ashore, deflated by the long journey

But what I'd like to think is that, somewhere out there, a flotilla of fake breasts is about to wreak havoc upon the lives of any sailors who come near.

Ahoy, mateys! Beware the Flotitta! arrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The Australian men's magazine Ralph planned a promotion with their January issue: they were going to insert inflatable breasts as a gift. That's not likely to happen now, because the shipment of 130,000 boobs was lost at sea.

 

130,000 Misplaced Boobs

Category: Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder
Posted on 12/6/2008 10:31:20 AM by Gloria Brame

Our personality disorders, ourselves

A rather provocative AP item reports that roughly one fifth of young adults are mentally ill.

Almost one in five young American adults has a personality disorder that interferes with everyday life, and even more abuse alcohol or drugs, researchers reported Monday in the most extensive study of its kind.

The disorders include problems such as obsessive or compulsive tendencies and anti-social behavior that can sometimes lead to violence. The study also found that fewer than 25 percent of college-aged Americans with mental problems get treatment.

 story link

Though I am, as a rule, skeptical of studies which make sweeping generalizations like this, I nonetheless am perfectly prepared to believe the results this time.

One of my infinite theories about personality is that, unless and until someone actually receives a diagnosis, the mentally ill don't just pass as normal in society,  but are, in fact, normal.  Normal, at least, in the sense that there are a whole lot of them, that they function in society (for better or worse), that virtually every adult is either related to someone who's mentally ill or unstable or is, in fact, ill or unstable him/herself whether or not they know it.  Usually, we don't even notice unless someone has a breakdown.

For example: an elderly relative of mine.   Paranoid. Narcissistic. Borderline.  You name it.  It would take a psychiatrist years to parse the cluster of her  disorders, dysfunctions and phobias.  But she's never gone to a psychiatrist:  doesn't believe in them, wouldn't comply with treatment even if forced to go.  From her distorted POV, she isn't just normal, she's so normal that anyone who doesn't live the way she thinks they should is, in her judgment, stupid or crazy.   Is she harmful?  Yes, to herself and sometimes to family members.  Delusional?  Oh yes.  Normal?  That depends on your POV:  she lives quietly, pays her bills on time, obeys the law, and those who only see her socially assume she's a sweet old lady.  The only ones who know how messed up she is are her relatives and we don't air our dirty laundry.

Because that is another aspect of why and how most mental illness is neatly stitched into the fabric of the world.  Mental illness is treated as a family secret. The children of narcissists (and there must be millions) do not generally reveal how unloving their parents were.  The ones whose parents tried to commit suicide don't usually gossip about it with friends.  Even  the ones who have pedophiles in the family tend to keep their mouths shut, sometimes under pressure from other family members.

There are any number of reasons why mentally ill family members are protected.  Some people are just embarrassed about it.  Some fear that it would harm their own reputations or discourage people from marrying and having children with them.  But, in my experience, the most common reason, quite simply, is that we tend to view people we love through a very forgiving, deeply personal lens.  I've known plenty of people who will say, for example,  "Oh, my Aunt So-and-So, she blows hot and cold a lot" instead of asking whether Aunt So-and-So could be bipolar, or "My uncle can't go to bed until he checks all the door and window locks 20 times," instead of wondering if said uncle might be obsessive-compulsive.  The idea that someone you love may, in fact, be genuinely mentally ill is one of the hardest things for most people to accept.   Even when you are the victim of their illness, or maybe especially when you are, it's almost impossible to step back far enough to render objective judgment.  

Further complicating things, personality disorders exist on a very broad spectrum.  Most of us are a little neurotic about something anyway: drawing the line exactly where "weird" slips into "personality disorder" can be a challenge for even the most competent professionals.   High-functioning people with personality disorders are especially difficult to diagnose.  Sure, if you've just slaughtered your family, and are babbling incoherently, most docs know how to label you.  But what about the vast majority who never have a psychotic break? The number of people who have personality disorders AND are highly functional is unknown and unstudied.  Like my elderly relative, they never show up in mental health studies because they never see doctors for their mental problems.  They may be odd, but they don't really stick out from the crowd.  Chances are you live with them, work with them, socialize with them, and accept them as normal, healthy people.  For their part, they struggle along, never knowing why life seems so hard, and never realizing that things could be a lot better with proper treatment.    

As a therapist, I daily hear stories of parents' whose behavior makes me wonder how they could get away with their bizarre antics, without losing their children or going to jail.  But they did.  And they always have.  And probably they always will.  And to change that basic fact of life -- that a good number of mentally ill people pass as mentally healthy  -- would require so invasive and horrible a solution that I personally prefer it stays as it is.   If we actually tried to medicate or institutionalize all the disordered people in the world, it would tear the world we know apart.

So, it doesn't surprise me one bit to read that 25% of college-aged kids have a personality disorder.  My gut feeling is that that number is extremely low.   Personality disorders are fairly commonplace.  What's rare in this world are diagnoses. 

Category: Sexual Health
Posted on 12/3/2008 5:33:56 PM by Gloria Brame

Luxist Anal Plug: spend a grand on anal pleasure

The Swedish savant of lust toys, LELO, has just debuted the creme de la creme of all male anal sex toys. The new Earl "gentleman's pleasure toy" is available in stainless steel or 18K plate for the man who really truly has everything -- and thinks he deserves even more.

Why, it even comes with matching cufflinks!  Now, there's a conversation starter at your next banking conference.

I'm neither selling nor vouching for this product but when they sent me the press release, my first reaction was OH MY BUTTFUCKING GOD!

I don't want to own this toy: I want to own a man who owns this toy.

all images/copy used  with permission from Lelo

 


from the press release:

LELO is proud to announce the launch of EARL, an elegant and highly exclusive gentleman’s pleasure object exuding luxury. Available in both steel and gold for a range of sensual options, he is part of our LELO LUXE line – for people who put no price on pleasure. EARL is available from 24 November, 2008.

EARL is a luxury gentleman’s plug, crafted in stainless steel or 18K gold plate. Sculpted for deep internal stimulation, including male G-spot massage, he helps the user sustain sensation and reach a new intensity of release. Hygienic, stylish and ready for play, he is smooth and designed with a ring for full control of the sensual experience. Use EARL as you wish, whether it be with a partner for added enjoyment or as a secret companion, worn discreetly.

EARL comes presented in an elegant wooden gift box, accessorised with matching cufflinks, manual, satin pouch for stylish storage and a 1-year LELO warranty.

Recommended retail price:

EARL gold: 6400 SEK / 690 EURO / 490 GBP / 990 USD

EARL silver: 3600 SEK / 390 EURO / 280 GBP / 590 USD

Category: Sexual Health
Posted on 12/2/2008 9:44:45 PM by Gloria Brame

BDSM BOARDS: Questioning a mental health diagnosis

My BDSM message boards have been hopping and bopping lately with lots of meaty topics. Today, a member posted a very touching query on mental health issues to our resident MD, HotDoc, and myself.

A woman has many emotional issues in life and a traumatic event occurs leaving her so incapacitated emotionally that eventually it leads her to become depressed to the point of suicidal idealizations with a complete plan,yet chooses to seek psychiatric help instead... For years, she spends time on medication to get herself back into life and goes through intense therapy, takes her medication as prescribed, and surrounds herself with people that are helpful and supportive of her delicate condition. She is diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and told that she must maintain her mental health for life and to be very aware that the symptoms can return at any time and if they do, return ASAP. She comes off the medication with her doctor, monitors her moods strategically, educates herself to rational thinking and challenges irrational thinking and does a LOT of mental healing footwork (I mean a fucking LOT). Over all, she feels the undercurrent of the depression but has managed to live her life productively by her own standards. Under an ever watchful eye of her family, therapist, and friends, she lives on.

Then one day, she goes to a clinic where a physician's assistant ask her the question: "Do you suffer any mental illness?" Wanting to be truthful, the woman admits to being diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and explains it is treated with lifestyle change and rigorous mental processing. The Physician's Assistant turns to the woman and tells her, "You don't have Major Depressive Disorder. If you did, you would know it can't be fixed and it requires medications for life." Leaving the office, the woman felt attacked and her esteem dropped as if someone pushed her over a cliff. Offended, she walks out in the middle of the exam and refuses to let the P.A. treat her for medical conditions in which she originally went to a medical doctor for.

So... I ask... is this true?

Read the rest of this message and my response

Category: Sexual Health
Posted on 12/2/2008 9:43:48 PM by Gloria Brame

When spanking was not just a fetish -- 2 of 2

On another site, an 83 year old gentleman named Jerry R. Kyle is publicizing his autobiography, detailing his incredibly adventurous life and his experiences in World War II.  He offers up a selection of home photos to accompany the book, a number of them featuring himself and his wife.

 

He also offers this telling photo:

 

This looks pretty real to me.  In fact, it rather makes me want to buy the book to find out if he has something to say about spanking and discipline...particularly since the title of his autobiography is Rearview.  Hmmmm.

Categories: Sex and History Sex and Relationships Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 12/2/2008 1:44:30 AM by Gloria Brame

When spanking was not just a fetish -- 1 of 2

Working on a search for interesting images to share here a few weeks ago, I came across two websites dedicated to the lives and accomplishments of World War II era-servicemen. Since you never know what might pop up, I wasn't sure if was worth clicking over to see why these memorial tributes were magically showing up under spanking, but I took the chance. I was glad I did.

First, from a site devoted to the memory of Jim Chiles, and buried among wholesome photos that make up a long and loving tribute to a young serviceman of The Greatest Generation, I found this fascinating home photo.

Just goofing around for the camera or were they sharing one of their little lovers' game, in an age when adult spanking was viewed as lighthearted fun? You decide. She looks like she knows how to use that brush -- and I just love those 40s fur slippers.

Categories: Sex and History Sex and Relationships Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 12/2/2008 1:43:43 AM by Gloria Brame

The Vicar's anal adventure

Damn those pesky national elections.  This story was published a month ago and it wasn't until I heard my husband chortling a little while ago that I found out about it.  Oh HOW could I have missed the story about the English clergyman who "accidentally" took a potato up the ass?  Here's the clip:

Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom

A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

At first read, it sounds like the stuff of urban legends. But being a wise old therapist, fact is, I've heard dozens of stories -- from doctors and dominatrices, by the way -- of people who came up with ridiculous stories in emergency rooms to try and cover up their playful solo sexual shenanigans at home.

When it comes to strange-objects-up-the-rectum, most patients will lie about how they got there, and the number one excuse is that, through a series of bizarre coincidences, their naked ass somehow dropped on top of the object-in-question.

One of my favorites (until the vicar, that is) was of a fellow who pretended he'd sat down naked on a chair and accidentally got a sausage up his behind. I've always wondered how the sausage managed to perch itself in an upright position so it could anally rape him.

In any case, cheers to the vicar for exploring anal play. Next time, use more lube.

Categories: Sex and Spirituality Sexual Humor Sexual Strangeness
Posted on 12/2/2008 1:42:44 AM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: Lovely ladies in lingerie, ca 1920s

Still digesting your Thanksgiving meal?  Perhaps this delicious vintage shot of two fair young maids will kick your metabolism back into gear.

Category: FOUND
Posted on 12/1/2008 3:01:16 AM by Gloria Brame

BDSM thread of the week: what's it all about, Alfie?

A new visitor to the message Boards asks Various questions about the BDSM-lifestyle and Cowhideman offers an in-depth, multi-part answer, from pansexual and gay perspectives. Fabulous reading for all.

I have no first hand knowledge of the BDSM-lifestyle, but I am nonetheless interested in it and also in the dynamics of the relationships. So after reading different books about it I want to include some sides of it as a subplot in one of my own stories (yes, I do write from time to time and I am hoping to get something published sooner or later).

But since I don’t know which facts are real and which are just fictional I decided to ask the people (you) who can maybe answer some of the most important questions I have.

continue reading

Category: Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 12/1/2008 3:00:40 AM by Gloria Brame

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