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FOUND: Bespoke Bondage Duckie

(it comes with those handcuffs -- but where exactly would they fit?)

Category: Sexual Humor
Posted on 6/24/2008 8:34:34 AM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: Erotic Illusion

from eBay...

Take one pretty little "art nouveau" era lady on a tray....

and then turn her upside down.

Link

Category: Sex and Arts
Posted on 6/24/2008 8:33:35 AM by Gloria Brame

In Enema We Trust. DA!

A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk. The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa. Link.

OK, but I'm waiting for the monument to the urinary catheter....

Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture Science and Culture
Posted on 6/24/2008 8:32:36 AM by Gloria Brame

If SM was a religion in America...

Would we get a free pass from media when one of our own died as a result of an SM act?

If religious freedom includes the right to break age-of-consent laws (i.e., the Mormon cult in Texas) and the right to let your children die (see below), then how dare anyone criticize consensual behavior between adults? Can you imagine if media found an SM group that abused children as a function of their belief system?? O.M. f'ing G. But under the banner of religious freedom, religious zealots get a free pass with careful, non-committal reporting. Where is the outrage, media people? Where are the interviews with people condemning such ungodliness in the name of God? Where are all the talking heads you recruit to foam at the muzzle when morally-conscious BDSMers have a happy party in a nice hotel?

I hope these religious fanatics are successfully prosecuted for denying children the opportunity to grow up and make their OWN choices about religion.

Teenager From Faith-Healing Family Dies

Authorities say a teenager from a faith-healing family died from an illness that could have been easily treated, just a few months after a toddler cousin of his died in a case that has led to criminal charges.

Category: Sex and Spirituality
Posted on 6/24/2008 8:31:38 AM by Gloria Brame

Huge Moon Rising in our Minds

Keep your eyes on the skies tonight. It may not be real but it's one of the loveliest natural illusions known to humanity. I remember seeing it once on a train speeding to Paris from Cherbourg, and thinking the moon would just eat up the earth. Beautiful.

See a Huge Moon Illusion Wednesday

As the full moon rises this Wednesday evening, June 18, many people will be tricked into thinking it's unusually large

The moon illusion, as it's known, is a trick in our minds that makes the moon seem bigger when it's near the horizon. The effect is most pronounced at full moon. Many people swear it's real, suggesting that perhaps Earth's atmosphere magnifies the moon.

But it really is all in our minds. The moon is not bigger at the horizon than when overhead.

The illusion will be particularly noticeable at this "solstice moon," coming just two days before summer starts in the Northern Hemisphere. The reason, according to NASA, lies in lunar mechanics: The sun and full moon are like kids on a see-saw; when one is high, the other is low. This week's high solstice sun gives us a low, horizon-hugging moon and a strong, long-lasting version of the illusion.

Category: Post-Modern Pop Culture
Posted on 6/19/2008 3:44:07 AM by Gloria Brame

Sadomasochistic drive and professional sports

As long ago as 1992, I remarked (and wrote in Different Loving) that an interesting aspect of human behavior is that pain and suffering are taken for granted when it comes to things like professional sports, yet demonized when it comes to things like our private sex lives.

We think nothing of pro athletes taking beatings on the field, enduring rigorous and painful training, and essentially sacrificing their bodies for the sake of that fascinating human construct, competitive sports. But what, really, is behind that drive? Is it a dream of glory only -- or is there something about the human mind which motivates us to believe that pain is itself a glorious experience?

Some of the food for thought behind my comparison of SM to pro sports was in part prompted by the classic essay on professional wrestling by Roland Barthes, written in 1957 and published in his work, Mythologies, in which Barthes describes the sport as a ritualistic tragedy that follows a specific template: Suffering, Defeat, Justice. It was, of course, the notion of ritualized suffering that particularly intrigued me -- more than that, the very PUBLIC spectacle of suffering which serves any number of cathartic psychological purposes for the audience. (For quick consumption of Barthe's basic theories on pro wrestling, check out this college professor excellent cliff notes. )

A very fine and articulate journalist, Matthew Randazzo, has penned an in-depth analysis of the pro wrestling scene in America today, with a focus on the bizarre life and death of Chris Benoit. When Randazzo says that Benoit had a sadomasochistic relationship with the sport (and with Vince McMahon), he isn't kidding. This was an eye-opening interview into the master-slave relationships McMahon forms with his most vulnerable athletes. Like any pathological, non-consensual sadist, McMahon exacts submission through tyranny and without care for the health or emotional well-being of the men who work for him.

Even if you'd never watch a match, the interview offers food for thought about power and its abuses, and how basic SM impulses drive some people to engage in non-erotic but nonetheless clearly sadomasochistic dynamics. Most particularly, for folks like us, it proves yet again how SM without boundaries (or even acknowledgement of the true dynamic in play) can completely unhinge people. In Benoit's case, it's an object lesson in the terrifying consequences of submitting to the wrong master.

Some excerpts...

Matt Randazzo Interview

....the real story of Chris Benoit's meltdown was nothing close to what was being published either in the mainstream press (who blamed steroids) or the insider wrestling press (who acted as if it was an arbitrary fluke that could have happened anywhere). The real story was very different: Chris Benoit's sadomasochistic drive to succeed in pro wrestling lead him to pursue a lifestyle that, in countless ways, caused his deadly physical and mental decline.

...McMahon himself, as I reveal in Ring of Hell, treats them with so little respect that, in one instance, he mocked and fired a wrestler who sought medical attention for an injury for being "a pussy."

...The wrestling business is often ugly and exploitative, but it is safe to say that McMahon is the most demanding, coldblooded, heartless, and ultimately destructive promoter in the industry.

...It's really incredible when you think about it: in March of 2004, World Wrestling Entertainment, a publicly traded company worth billions of dollars decided that the faces of its corporate brand should be a short, homely, grotesquely steroid-addled Mexican-American wrestler with a history of horrible drug abuse and a short, dull Canadian technical wrestler with a broken neck and multiple severe drug addictions. Chris Benoit and Eddy Guerrero weren't chosen solely on the basis of marketability; according to numerous WWE writers who I interviewed for Ring of Hell, they were both being rewarded for their selfless, suicidal devotion to a business that was completely destroying their bodies and putting their family lives under great stress.

You can get Randazzo's new book at Amazon.

To read Barthes' original essay, pick up Mythologies.

Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 6/19/2008 3:43:11 AM by Gloria Brame

R.E.M. fans -- buy a Gretsch, support AthFest

Couldn't resist posting this sweet little eBay auction in support of the rockin' annual Athens, GA music fair known as AthFest. We LOVE Athens, and if you love R.E.M. and guitars, you might just want to bid on this sweet beauty and help support AthFest's educational initiative to spread good vibes to schools. Bidding starts at $2k.

R.E.M. Signed Gretsch Guitar for Athens, GA Non-Profit

AthFest, the Athens, GA Music & Arts Festival, has a mission to educate people about music and arts. The staff is organizing a program that will bring musicians and music business leaders into local schools to make presentations to classes, as well as mentor kids interested in careers in music.

Savannah, Ga.-based Gretsch Guitars has a foundation that donates guitars that are decorated by artists or signed by musicians and then sold to raise funds for music and arts education programs. Because Gretsch CEO Fred Gretsch believes in "enriching lives through participation in music," the Gretsch Foundation has generously donated a new hollow body style Brian Setzer Model Gretsch Nashville guitar to AthFest.

This beautiful instrument is signed by all four of the original members of R.E.M., including retired drummer Bill Berry....Funds raised from the eBay auction of this autographed Gretsch guitar - includes the new deluxe case shown in the photo - will support AthFest's educational efforts.

Category: Post-Modern Pop Culture
Posted on 6/19/2008 3:42:14 AM by Gloria Brame

The tragic, violent, avoidable SM death of Curious George's co-creator

The trial has just begun in Florida's Broward County of one of the two men charged in the murder of Alan Shalleck. One of the most tragic and cautionary tales about playing with strangers you can find.

south florida: Opening arguments set in Curious George case

Opening arguments will be heard this morning in the death penalty case against one of two men who allegedly brutalized and robbed the collaborator of the Curious George children's books.

Vincent Puglisi, 56, is accused in the 2006 stabbing death of 76-year-old Alan Shalleck, who was beaten and stabbed more than 100 times and nearly had his genitals severed during a sadomasochistic three-way sexual tryst at Shalleck's Boynton Beach mobile home.

So let's review a key safety rule, folks. Unless you are in a safe setting, i.e., a club or party setting with trusted friends, dungeon monitors or others who will intervene if things get too wild, do NOT count on strangers to know, understand or care what kind of safe words you use. EVER. As exciting as someone may seem, as sincere as he or she may act when you first meet, unless the person (or people, in this case) have been vetted by people you trust or you can be guaranteed a safe exit should things go wrong, the next stranger you naively trust could be the one who -- intentionally or accidentally -- causes permanent damage or death.

I realize lots of people love the rush of anonymous enounters...and that perhaps, at age 76, Mr. Shalleck felt his options might be limited....but consensual BDSM comes with rules, and rule number one is....never ever allow yourself to be at the mercy of people who have NOT proven themselves trustworthy. There are indeed predators and psychopaths out there who target folks like us. Never forget that.

My heart goes out to poor Mr. Shalleck and his grieving loved ones.

Category: Sex Laws and Crimes
Posted on 6/19/2008 3:41:16 AM by Gloria Brame

5 reasons why I hate to leave home

View out our front door

Hydrangeas on the hill

Picked from Ketzl's garden for dinner tonight. Simmered and served with sauteed portobello mushrooms by Will.

Ripe ruby raspberries plucked by our girl, served fresh. I was promised a tart from them tomorrow!

And...the KITTEN.

Category: Pleasures of the Garden
Posted on 6/18/2008 4:04:39 AM by Gloria Brame

Spanking Conservatives and the trauma angle

It's always entertained me to see how often U.S. News and other conservative publications love to feature stories on depravity -- but always couched in moralistic, disapproving terms, of course, to keep up the facade of disinterest. Look, we all know there are about as many Republicans and Conservatives in the Scene as there are Democrats and lefties. Why don't you nice right-leaning folks talk back to your magazines and tell them to quit pretending you're all one great big lump of sanctimonious poo-poo? You'd be a lot more effective at convincing them than we left-leaning people ever will be.

Anyway, in an advice column this week, Nancy Shute opines on the harms of spanking children.

I must say, first, that I agree firmly with Shute on one thing: children are small humans and deserve their human rights. I do not believe in striking children in anger. I was a child who was struck in anger. I hated it. It never ever taught me about anything except rage. So yeah, Shute's basic point is good. You can exert effective discipline without raising your hand.

However, and oh so unfortunately, she then goes on to opine about how spanking is harmful because you could grow up to like spanking in adulthood! OH NO, NOT THAT! The horror of enjoying a mutually consensual, profoundly erotic spanking that gives you an orgasm! No no no no! That is so wrong. At least for Shute. Emphases below added.

More on Spanking: the Side Effects - On Parenting (usnews.com)

....you say spanking in love can lead to sexual problems in adulthood.

I think that's what most parents who spank do. There's only a minority of parents who are aggressive, mean people. Most spank because they want to correct the behavior of their child. They want the kid to grow up to be a good, law-abiding citizen. The harmful side effects occur despite that. One of them occurs in part because of that. One of my studies is on the relationship between corporal punishment as a child and being aroused by sadomasochistic sexual behavior. What I found is that the more kids were spanked, the more likely they would want to be spanked as adults while having sex. Most kids who are spanked don't develop an interest in being spanked while having sex, but a substantial number do, particularly when their parents were high in love and support. That maximizes the fusion of love and violence. If parents spank you and you hate them, that doesn't bring about a fusion of love and violence....

Did it ever occur to Shute that it isn't a "fusion of love and violence" here -- but a fusion of love and yummy sensations throughout the pelvic region and genitals that make some kids grow up to love the feelings of a spanking?

Shute assumes that adult spanking in itself is bad. But two consenting adults engaging in a behavior as old as humanity itself, roughing up their erotic lives with intense and intensely pleasurable sensations -- what's bad about that? Lots of sex experts and shrinks start with the erroneous premise that an adult behavior like spanking is in itself an act of violence, and therefore jump to the conclusion that it was caused by some traumatic or violent event in youth.

But what if the spanking experience turns some kids on? Turns them on in ways that are so real and pleasurable that they can't wait to include it in their sexual repertoire, either as giver or receiver or both? From all the research I've done on spanking, I can state with confidence that there really is no one path to the adult lover of spanking, and no proof whatever that childhood spankings instantly fetishize a person. For every spanked kid who got turned on, there are plenty more who, like me, just grew up to hate being hit. (One of many reasons I can't bottom worth a crap.)

From my POV, the only sexual risk is that spanking can lead to a sexual awakening in your child: a realization that spankings, however unpleasant on the surface, produce desirable and exciting sensations. That's right: it may not be the trauma that will pervert your child -- but the sudden awareness that spanking is HOT.

Category: Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 6/18/2008 4:03:45 AM by Gloria Brame

Larry Townsend in a straight suit

Apparently, Townsend's book distributors have been playing fast and loose with his copyright on various titles, and the author of the SM classic, "The Leatherman's Handbook," is suing to force bookstores to stop carrying those books. Seems the distributor printed up their own copies and sold them, thereby screwing him on royalties (my guess from the report below). It's unusual to go after bookstores, instead of limiting it to the distributor, but it is an interesting and creative approach. How else to eradicate the stock of books whose existence defraud the person who holds their copyright? Townsend is in an enviable spot as SM and erotica authors develop followings that will continuously buy their works (unlike typical authors whose books come and go from shelves in 3 months or less). So if indeed the allegations are true, and the distributors have been screwing him out of royalties, he's probably safe in forcing bookstores to quit dealing with the distributors and waiting for them to restock when he regains full control of his copyrights. However it seems somewhat unlikely to me that he'll collect damages from bookstores. How could they have known of the dispute between himself and Nazca in the first place?

Anyone who knows more about this case, or understands it from a legal perspective, please please feel free to chime in. Out of respect for Larry, I'm including an image of the book from when he was still publishing it (and not the glossy new cover produced by Nazca).

Author Sues Booksellers for Selling His Books

A few weeks ago John Mitzel, proprietor of Calamus Books in Boston, was surprised to open his mail and discover he'd been named in a lawsuit filed by an author. The suit, filed by Larry Townsend's attorney for copyright infringement, stems from a dispute over unpaid fees allegedly owed the author by his distributor, the Oklahoma-based Nazca Plains Corp. Nonetheless, the suit charges that Mitzel, along with over 40 other booksellers (including Amazon and Barnes & Noble), infringed on Townsend's copyright by selling the author's books in his store.

...Los Angeles-based Valerie F. Horn, Townsend's attorney, said that although the claim is rooted in an issue with Nazca (which is, for all intents and purposes, an individual named Herbert R. Moseley), the bookstores are legally entangled. According to Horn, Nazca, aka Moseley, copied Townsend's works without permission and then distributed the books to the booksellers. This, she said, results in "liability to all those within the chain of distribution." Horn also added that whether the booksellers named knowingly or unknowingly sold ripped-off books is irrelevant, as per the copyright statute.

Category: Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 6/18/2008 4:02:48 AM by Gloria Brame

Joan Rivers to make leatherfolk laugh

Now that the Borscht Belt has died its inevitable death, where else is a nice Jewish girl-slash-comedy legend going to go but...

FOLSOM?

OMG. Priceless...

Thanks to Mike for sending this.

Saturday, September 20, 2008
The Regency Center - Sutter Room
1290 Sutter Street, San Francisco, CA

Celebrate the 25th Folsom Street Fair with glamour and style at our one-time-only Formal Gala Dinner. This special event is scheduled for Saturday, September 20th at The Regency Center’s Sutter Room. Your admission includes a unique four-station menu (crafted exclusively by Small Potatoes Catering Events), an open bar featuring martinis of all kinds as well as high-end brews, and an astonishing comedic performance by the legendary Joan Rivers.

Link

Wonder if this YouTube is a taste of what the pervs will be getting

Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture Sex and Sadomasochism Sexual Humor
Posted on 6/18/2008 4:01:52 AM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: Hot spanking from Herouard

I included early 20th century French illustrator Herouard in one of my erotic art shows-- just found this fem-on-fem spanking scene by him. Or, as the French say, "plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose."

Category: Sex and Arts
Posted on 6/18/2008 4:00:54 AM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: Sleeping Beauty

Anyone know who painted this delicious morsel of femininity? Kind of looks like Rousseau to me...?

Category: Sex and Arts
Posted on 6/18/2008 3:59:55 AM by Gloria Brame

June 20th in DC: Eroticon Art Show

If you're in or around Washington D.C., check out the Woodhull Freedom Foundation's June 20th art event.

Eroticon: Erotic Art from Behind Bars

WHEN: Friday, June 20, 2008

WHERE: Prisons Art Gallery
1600 K Street, NW; Suite 501; Washington DC

SCHEDULE: Gallery Viewing: 6-7pm; Art Auction 7-8pm

ADMISSION: $10 at the door

** wine and food will be served **

Event sponsored by Busboys and Poets

Category: Sex and Arts
Posted on 6/18/2008 3:58:57 AM by Gloria Brame

Hot Bitchy SELF-ish highlights

-- I was on the panels of judges for uncontested contests this year, along with Hardy Haberman, Kali Ward, Lenny Earl, and the Head Judge, Victoria Gayton. The shortfall of contestants was in part a comment on the economy (winning a contest always entails burdensome expenses). But I've heard activists all over N. America talk about a flagging interest in leather contests. Explanations range from changing demographics (not too many young professionals can make the time commitment) to new generations of kinksters being less interested in activism and more interested in fun. So, the judging boiled down to determining if the candidates deserved a sash on their own merits v. in competition with peers. There were two fine candidates and then some last-minute entrants who, IMO, were completely unprepared on every level to represent the SM/leather communities. What really got me was catching them in a lie about their time in the Scene. If you can't remember how long you've been in the Scene, say so: making up phony dates to look like you're super-experienced only works on gullible Internet dweebs. Call me a bitch (as I'm sure they later did), but once someone lies to me, I can't trust anything else they say. The other two candidates did us proud and will go on to rep the Southeast at other events -- congrats to Ms. Southeast Leather, Miss Bettie, and to Southeast Bootblack, Girl Commando.

-- Not that I wasn't happy enough just to see familiar faces and catch up, but I got to meet a bunch of people I'd only known by reputation, and was delighted to find out they were even cooler in person than in pixel. Hardy, Kali, Steve Hagen, Ray Castro, it was an honor putting faces to your names. Additionally, met a bunch of people who'd corresponded with me in the past and was so pleasantly surprised by how lovely they were in person; bumped into some beloved clients (who must remain nameless, but ooh, got to see them in their fetish gear! so edgy!); and caught up with some wonderful folks I hadn't seen in years (kiss kiss to Adrian and RedWitch), and even met a few new hotties (you're at the top of the list, Eric). :) I know I've left a ton of names out, so forgive me or better still remind me, and I'll give you a shout-out too.

-- In retrospect, I realize that the female to male ratio at this event was, well, redonkulous! Redonkulously weighted, that is, in women's favor. A far cry from the mid-80s when you'd look out over a sea of submissive men at events and clubs, with only a tiny handful of femdoms and perhaps a few femsubs being led around by their masters. There were dozens of femdoms at SELF, tons of them in permanent relationships with their subs/bottoms/bois, more non-pros than pros too. WOW. And I couldn't even count all the femsubs. Also impressive in number were the transmen (including some who I last saw before transition and now passed in the halls, positive they were gender males -- they looked THAT GOOD). It was the coolest, most eclectic mix ever and I loved the blast of estrogenic energy throbbing throughout the event. Of course, where femsubs are, so too are many fine maledoms, and it was inspiring to see so many happily partnered couples, poly people, and leather families.

-- All I can say is THANK GOD about this one: it was the most diva-free event I've ever attended. Considering that some of the women who organized the event ARE bona fide BDSM divas (including my buddies Lady Catherine and Victoria), this was a delicious surprise. See, there's good diva and bad diva: the good diva is the gracious lady who has earned respect through accomplishment and generosity to the Community, who accepts the worship and love and service as her due but without attitude or rudeness, and who demonstrates through deed, not just word, that she is IN CONTROL -- not just of others but most especially of herself. The bad diva is usually the one with a ridiculously hi-falutin monicker, and who has not earned a thing; more likely, she's faked her way in or used others to create her reputation for her, and believes the community exists for her profit. You can almost always count on the bad diva to create drama, to snub or otherwise insult people, and generally act more like a wicked witch than a divine bitch. One bad diva can destroy the soul of an event. So kudos to SELF organizers for pulling off one of the most relaxed, down-home, diva-free events I've ever attended.

Now for some "moments"....

At the local Starbuck's with Jen. Forgot to remove my conference badge.

The java slinger notices. "Oh, are you at that Holiday Inn thing? What kind of convention is it?"

"Leather," I smiled.

"Oh." Pregnant pause. "Are you a tanner?"

Um Um Um...

"No, no. BDSM leather." Noting his growing embarrassment, I added. "Basically, it's a big bunch of perverts having a party."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," he said, glancing down, bright red now. "That's cool."

The low-point of the weekend happened just after my class on Sunday. I had noticed at one point that some couples walked out but just assumed they had something else to do, and didn't take it personally. I should have. I was later confronted by a distraught woman who told me that I had deeply hurt their feelings (!). During class, a couple of femdoms in the audience raised the issue of dealing with maledoms who treat them disrespectfully. Complaints centered on maledoms who treat femdoms as if underneath their femdom'ly exteriors they are actually subs in denial -- based on the sexist assumption that all women are, by nature, submissive. This opened a dialogue about sexism in the Scene, and how seldom it is discussed. For a community which celebrates diversity, is anti-racist, size-positive, gay/lesbian-friendly, and generally holds important humanistic values overall, sexism IMO absolutely remains our dirty secret.

I attributed much of the sexism to the possibility that the maledoms are uncomfortable in their own shoes, possibly question their own dominance, and need to see women as inferior or submissive in order to boost themselves: typical bully mentality, where it's always the cowards who try to pick on people they perceive as weaker or less socially empowered. One femdom who works as a pro made the point that she's had plenty of visits from guys who, in public, pretend to be all dom, all the time, then swear her to secrecy when they come in for sessions. Since I've always pretty much believed that the people most likely to be homophobic are latent homosexuals, and the people most likely to be anti-trans must have their own gender issues going on, I tend to believe that, indeed, the maledoms most likely to treat femdoms like subs-in-denial are likely torn on the inside about their own hunger to submit to a powerful woman. Couldn't help pointing out that I live with a maledom who has NEVER had a problem accepting that some women are truly dom-by-nature. Actually his POV, more accurately, is that while society has tried to beat women into social slavery through conditioning, there are nonetheless some of us who were just so dominant we overcame the rotten system through sheer dint of our indomitable willpower! Aw, yeah, there's lots of reasons I love my man. :)

UNFORTUNATELY, as I bloviated about this during class, I opened the question to what I *thought* were cross-dressers sitting with their Mistresses, assuming that, like most of the TV's I've known, they'd be particularly sensitive and insightful about what bullying fools some men can be -- TV's often possessing that extra perspective on masculinity from their own experience of embracing both male and female within themselves. But DUH. They weren't submissive cross-dressers at all: they were MTF Transsexuals, who felt no identity with men and were hurt that I treated them as such. As their rep explained, her friends were and had always felt like females and my singling them out as males felt like a slap in the face.

Oy. So they were the ones who walked out on me, in anger as it turned out. Agh. I felt like crap about it. Hope my apology to their representative helped make amends. But since there's nothing like a public apology, this is mine: real sorry, ladies. Totally my bad.

There was a Friday night "CarnalVal" with various booths set up. You bought your tix at a main table, then spent them on a wide range of silliness in support of various good causes. I was tempted to jump on the bootblack service (love a good boot shine, oh yes I do) but then remembered that under my sexy dress that night...was nothing but my sexy naked body. Had I hopped on a bench, the whole world could've had a glimpse of Gloria Brame as they'd never seen her. Naturally, Ketzl, the shit-disturber, thought this was a wonderful idea and wished I'd air my hoo-ha to the group but, what can I say, I have a more personal relationship with my thighs and didn't really find the idea overly appealing.

Later I paid Ketzl back for her gleeful impertinence by making her "Ride the Thunder," i.e., compete at a booth where you got to spin a wheel of fortune when you successfully "covered the boob" (don't ask). When the wheel landed on number 17, I got to deliver a nice refreshing SHOCK of electricity to Ketzl. Ha ha. A dom must always get her revenge.

Ketzl did well at the "cock toss" but I can't remember if there was any kind of a prize for her skill in throwing a dildo through a vagina-shaped hole. It was funny, though. Note: she handled that dildo like a pro. And I do mean a pro.

We didn't get to use the dungeons as I'd hoped, in part cuz Ketzl was somewhat out of commission but also because I didn't see a space available that felt right to me. There were two big dungeon rooms, which were reasonably private (had doors, that is) but already reasonably busy. In one, someone was doing a bullwhip scene which essentially took up most of the space. The third space was the lobby connecting the various ballrooms. Though I'm not exactly shy or inhibited, I confess that the lobby thing did not work for me. Just too wide open, lacking in intimacy, too many people drifting around the bondage/play stations. My personal preference is a station where you can safely stow your stash (not having to worry if a passerby will help him or herself to one of your toys), and can create an illusion of privacy, with voyeurs kept at some minimum safe distance so your scene can't be interrupted or otherwise disturbed should they sneeze or trip over your junk as they wander through.

However, there was a charmingly basic little room off to the side where a private femdom group was hosting a fund-raiser called "Spanked Tails." Since we had a few tix left over, it made sense to spend them here. I offered up Jen to the spank-mistress in attendance. As she probed for some possible scenario to enhance the festivities (asking Ketzl, "were you a bad girl?") and since Ketzl is, by nature, a spunky brat who wasn't about to help a top along, I chimed in with some fodder.

"She masturbates all the time!" I exclaimed as Ketzl turned pink and began giggling maniacally. "Not only that -- but you know those motorized toothbrushes? The kind you're supposed to use on your TEETH? You know where my naughty girl uses them??"

That was all it took. The room burst out in loud expressions of shock and Ketzl was hoisted on the bench for a very sound spanking that left her thoroughly red and even very lightly bruised for a few hours.

Payback's a bitch..and so, of course, am I.

And speaking of bitchiness...

Mouthing off about something or other, and Victoria responding in kind, Mistress Kali choked with laughter, and expressed amazement at how unapologetically bitchy we were.

"You know honey," I joked, putting my arm around her shoulder. "Men don't like us because we're NICE."

Just got an email from Kali a little while ago, thanking me for the lessons in bitchery. Hilarious.

Finally, just a happy note about Saturday night. Got to spend a few hours totally partying it up in our room with the coolest little group of people. Oh my, it was merry. And my Ketzl got to get in some foot-worship on one of the hunkiest maledoms at the event. A pleasure to watch her and his sub wiggle and writhe with joy over his masterly feet (while wriggling and writhing against each other too). As I'm partial to foot worship myself, and always love to see sexy pervs having fun, it added a certain luster to the atmosphere, if you know what I mean. Also was totally delighted by the lovely Kali, who was sweetly affectionate. Did I mention she is a true beauty? She put a bright twinkle in my typically heterosexual eyes, I must say. The coup de grace was grabbing a sweet submissive man of my (formerly email only) acquaintance in the lobby and dragging him off with us to satisfy our late-night munchie attack. He turned out to be a truly delightful gentleman, and the next day when I saw him obediently trotting after Kali, carrying her bags, he looked sublimely happy. Ah, yeah, it was all good.

Categories: Autobiographical Urges Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 6/17/2008 6:14:08 AM by Gloria Brame

Just a few adjustments and it could be SM

Punishment by cane in Singapore is NO laughing matter. A horrible punishment, doled out for offenses that one might think could more respectably dealt with by fines. But who are we to judge other countries when our own prison and legal system routinely subjects alleged sex criminals to horrible punishments? Still, this bizarre news item and the truly Draconian punishment for the fetishist's misbehaviors caught my eye. Frankly, it sounds like a scene that could be played out in a pro-dom's dungeon....except the caning wouldn't be nearly as painful, the jail would be a hot little cage and the whole ordeal would be over in an hour.

Armpit sniffer gets jail and cane

A Singapore man with a penchant for sniffing women's armpits was sentenced to 14 years in jail and 18 strokes of the cane for molesting his victims...

He molested 23 women over the course of 15 months, smelling their armpits and touching them in lifts, staircase landings and their homes, the paper said....

The court meted out the jail term, normally reserved for hardcore criminals, saying the man was likely to commit crimes again, the paper reported.

The paper also reported the poor fetishist was mentally ill. Obviously rehabilitation is a foreign concept in Singapore.

So what would be a fairer way to deal with people who are mad or severely mentally challenged and commit crimes which are petty but nonetheless may be deeply disturbing to the victims? I am completely opposed to placing the insane in standard prisons alongside hardcore criminals: psychologically, and perhaps physically, it IS a death sentence. Yet we do it all the time, essentially locking away problems that seem too complex and expensive for the system to deal with. Much more humane, of course, would be providing opportunities for them to be helped and rehabilitated. Many mentally ill people would have a chance at a productive life IF they had proper treatment: they are not as doomed as popular sentiment might lead you to believe. I am not opposed to separating them from society -- but being forced to live among brutal thugs can only make them sicker than they've ever been before.

Category: Sex Laws and Crimes
Posted on 6/17/2008 6:13:22 AM by Gloria Brame

Smack that baby!

"But officer, I swear I thought it was just talcum powder!"

Oh dear me.

Feds say man wore diaper full of heroin

Frank Keys Jr. faces up to 40 years in prison after he was found cruising down the highway with more than 200 grams of heroin in the diaper he was wearing, federal officials said.

Category: Sexual Strangeness
Posted on 6/17/2008 6:12:24 AM by Gloria Brame

Beautiful story of the week

They say love conquers all -- I can only hope that one day, all Americans will wake up to embrace the concept and allow all adults to freely choose to marry whomever they damn well please. The story of these two women (now in their 80s) gives me hope.

Lesbian Couple of 55 Years to Marry

Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin fell in love at a time when lesbians risked being arrested, fired from their jobs and sent to electroshock treatment.

On Monday, more than a half-century after they became a couple, Lyon and Martin plan to become one of the first same-sex couples to legally exchange marriage vows in California.

Category: Sex and Culture
Posted on 6/17/2008 6:11:25 AM by Gloria Brame

So over my SELF

Got home last night from a very very pleasant weekend at SELF (Southeast Leatherfest) in Atlanta. Got to see many lovely old friends, and folks I hadn't talked to in years, catch up on all the changes in their lives, and oooh, the gossip was good too. Everyone looked fab and acted up-beat: it was joyous. Equally fantastic to make some new, and I hope lasting, friendships. The event was delightfully low-key, and despite my judging duties and having a class to teach, there was plenty of time for socializing. So it was practically like a vacation! OMG! I think I could get to like this thing called vacation. It's like real life...but without the stress! OMG.

Play-time with my pet girl was not nearly as, erm, enthusiastic as envisioned owing to, erm, unpredicted natural events (damn time of the month) but that was fine too -- we spent a long and fun night Saturday enjoying the stellar company of some pervy friends and a very merry time was had by all. Put another way, two femsubs, two femdoms, and one exceedingly hot maledom in a small hotel room.... what's not to like? We didn't get to eat dinner until 1 a.m., but that just made it all merrier.

The organizers picked the perfect hotel for this -- right in the heart of Decatur, Georgia, a hipster/queer/gay/lesbian mecca, with a concentration of cafes, restaurants and cool little shops. We snuck out on Sunday for brunch with one of my closest friends and his extraordinary daughter. I was enchanted by her charmingly wiggly, tiny-tail-wagging dachshund, who made sure my nose didn't have to go another day without a complete canine washing.

The organizers also kept this one of the most relaxed, low-drama leather events I've ever attended. That in itself is an accomplishment. So thanks to all the wonderful people -- old friends, old acquaintances who became friends, new acquaintances who I hope will become lifelong friends-- who made SELF 2008 so special and made me feel so loved (yeah, I felt the love, people! kiss kiss kiss to you all). I'd actually planned to do a little live-blogging from SELF to give y'all a blow-by-blow, but ended up having TOO MUCH FUN, and just went with the flow, which meant I had virtually no time to myself, much less my laptop. I'll try to remedy that by posting about a few memorable moments from event later today.

Category: Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 6/17/2008 6:10:27 AM by Gloria Brame

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