Adult News
Aussies host a Sex Party
Delighted to see Aussie activists organizing against government censorship of the Internet. Little by little, a lot of governments (including our own in the US) are trying to chip away at the rights of adults to view adult content. As someone whose blog and websites are being increasingly blocked and otherwise censored because of frank content, it's been pretty disturbing to see how far prudes are going to shut down sex on the Internet.
Sex party set to heat up Australian politics
SYDNEY (AFP) – Australia is about to get a new entry into national politics -- a party devoted to sex.
The brains behind the Australian Sex Party, which will be launched in Melbourne on Thursday, believe that politics has become too stuffy and conservative Down Under.
Describing itself as "serious about sex" the party sees itself as a political response to the sexual needs of Australians in the face of moral campaigners and prudish politicians.
Party convenor Fiona Patten, who is head of the national adult retail and entertainment lobby group the Eros Association, said the trigger had been the government's decision to place a mandatory filter on the Internet.
Under the plan, designed to shield children from online porn and violence, Internet service providers will have to filter out pornography and other material deemed inappropriate in their feeds to houses and schools.
Categories: Sex Laws and Crimes
Sex On-Line
Sexual Politics
Posted on 11/20/2008 6:56:53 AM by Gloria Brame
Five Ways to Fend Off a Nervous Breakdown
If you're as stressed out as, well, just about everyone else seems to be, over the economy, and the new president, and the environment, and the wars and everything else, you may be going through some shaky days. Here are five tips from me to you on how to keep your head from exploding.
- 1. Tell your secrets to someone.
Might sound strange to you, but as a therapist, it sure seems to me that the number one cause of emotional stress for most people is when they carry around burdensome secrets. Those little secrets (whether it's some funds you filched, someone you fucked when you shouldn't have, your weight, your regret, or your pain) can eat away at your core personality like acid on paper. You need to let it out before there's nothing left. Find someone you trust or talk to a stranger you'll never see again; you can even write it down and post it somewhere anonymously. Let it go or you will never be able to move on.
- 2. Stop self-destructing.
Are you losing sleep, eating stupidly, partying too much, chewing your fingers, avoiding friends, fighting with everyone? STOP. When people feel insecure and frightened, they start taking it out on themselves and create new reasons to feel like shit. It's a masochistic cannibalistic train-ride to oblivion. Learn to recognize your own special little ways of self-destructing and keep them under control. Put yourself on a schedule, a diet, a discipline. If you can't do it alone, ask for help.
One of the hallmarks of mental breakdown is a deteriorating sense of humor. You have to laugh to keep going. Literally. Turn to any favorite sources, whether it's comics and cartoons or painfully dumb sitcoms/movies that nonetheless make you guffaw. Learn some new jokes and share laughter with others. Dress your partner up as different whimsical woodland animals. Whatever. Just make sure you have at least a couple of good laughs every day.
Regular orgasms keep the mind and body bouncy and relieve underlying stress. Contrary to popular belief, waiting to feel overwhelmed by tension and need to come is not the only or even optimal time to climax. If I ruled the world, I'd educate people to treat it as a routine part of body maintenance, like shaving your legs or brushing your teeth. If you've never tried to have at least one orgasm a day, you probably don't know what you're missing. Nothing, literally nothing, beats stress like orgasms. Partners are optional.
If you could just walk away from your life right now, you just might. But you can't, so you feel a little trapped and a lot stressed. So do what I do: go away, into your mind. Take five or ten minutes out of your day, any time you feel overwhelmed, and close your eyes. Visualize where you want to be: a beach, a mountaintop, a park. It's exquisite. It's exactly where you want to be. You can float. You can climb. You can fly. It's your world. Build a paradise in your mind, and occupy it at least five minutes a day. It's the cheapest, greenest and most relaxing vacation you'll ever take.
Category: Sexual Health
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:23:54 AM by Gloria Brame
Tangled Cybersex Web
Why bother saying anything when Sir Walter Scott said it all:
Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive.
A woman is to divorce her husband after discovering he was having a virtual affair within the online game "Second Life," newspapers reported Friday.
Amy Taylor, 28, met her husband David Pollard within the game in May 2003, and six months later, she moved into his home in Cornwall.
The couple married in July 2005, while their "Second Life" avatars Dave Barmy and Laura Skye -- younger, slimmer versions of their real-life selves -- also held an online ceremony for their virtual friends.
After a rare break from the computer, however, Taylor returned to find her 40-year-old husband in an intimate, albeit virtual, position with an online prostitute within "Second Life", which she said was the "ultimate betrayal".
'Second Life' ends couples' first marriage .
OK...but....
In the man's defense....did he promise that he'd give up what was, apparently, one of his favorite hobbies once they married? Did they negotiate hard and fast rules about how much on-line flirting was acceptable?
These are things I'd like to know because I am of the (strong) opinion that the line between fantasy and reality on the Internet is much too blurry for any absolute truths on how much on-line fantasy play is ethical in an otherwise-monogramous relationships. By now, we all know that one person's harmless cybersex fantasy is another's heart-breaking adultery. Some spouses could care less; some spouses think even a flirtation qualifies as an affair. The only fair parameters are the ones you, as partners, set for yourself, according to your own needs and tolerances.
Meanwhile, it's not like she met him at the grocery store and was unaware of his cybersex interests until after the honeymoon. She knew from the start that he was a cybersex-loving geek. So is it really fair to meet someone on-line, in a fantasy context, where you are both clearly so engaged in the fantasy that, in your case, you personally transform it into reality -- and then blame your partner when he continues to enjoy his pre-marriage hobby? Or more precisely: why do people think their partners will change stripes when they marry them? Who does she expect him to be now? A guy who sits in front of the tv all day watching football?
Categories: Sex and Relationships
Sex On-Line
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:23:06 AM by Gloria Brame
FOUND: Butch/fem French postcards
Girls who want to be boys may seem like an all-new phenomenon to the unschooled but perhaps this trio of vintage photos, all produced between 1900-1910, will make the point that when it comes to sexuality, there is really nothing new under the sun. Lovely, romantic images (the first two especially are beautifully staged and hand-tinted). They say so much yet leave lots to the imagination. Interestingly, they were done by different French studios, suggesting that there was a strong coterie audience for female-to-male erotic fantasies in late 19th and early 20th century Europe.
So, what happened to all these glorious images of mannish women and playful, amorous lesbians?
My informed guess is that we can blame Paragraph 175. Its threat remotely hovered over the erotica industry when these photos were taken. But when the Nazis revised that hideous legislation in the 1930s, acts and depictions of homosexuality landed people in Concentration Camps.
Don't you just hate Nazis?
Category: FOUND
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:22:08 AM by Gloria Brame
FOUND: Vintage female wrestlers
Also on eBay right now, a series of fascinating postcards showing semi-nude female wrestlers, ca. 1900 (!). Apparently a novelty act that lit up some Paris stages, these two fighting females must've made quite an impact with their moves.
Just snagged two to share here, so click the link (after the pix) to see more in the seller's store.

NUDE PARIS WRESTLER GIRLS Vintage PC
Category: FOUND
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:21:09 AM by Gloria Brame
FOUND: Wonder Woman (fan) tart art
For all you fans of the fabulous lady, original art with a lesbian twist by artist/cartoonist Clay Sheff, on eBay now.
WONDER WOMAN original art by Clay Sheff.
Category: FOUND
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:20:10 AM by Gloria Brame
Locked and Loaded
Looks like we're all done with blog formatting and tweaking, folks. In addition to the cleaner, cooler new design, I'm hoping you'll find all the pages here (front page and archives pages) are faster to load. If anyone's having trouble with the design or would like to suggest any final tweaks, now's the time so please let me know.
Posted on 11/18/2008 2:08:45 PM by Gloria Brame
I Feel Pretty, oh so pretty
My super-wiz design diva is just about done -- how do you like this preview? There's still a big of wiggling and jiggling to do, but this is my all-new blog design. I love it. How about you?
Posted on 11/18/2008 2:07:47 PM by Gloria Brame
Homophobia: Revenge of the Mama's Boys
I came across some vintage sewing patterns for men a few weeks ago and couldn't help wondering whether there's any link between ongoing homophobia in America and the fact that for a few dreadful decades, American women were dressing their sons and husbands like fruits. Holy crap in a cupcake, as if the polyester leisure suits weren't bad enough, the subtext here reminds me of Tom of Finland. Or at least of a morning-after at a gay dude ranch. If I was a straight man, being forced to wear some of these outfits could certainly make me question my manhood. And that's how I'm going to explain the success of Prop 8 to myself because I honestly can't think of a GOOD reason to deny gay Americans their civil rights.
Fashionistas may wish to look away: these could hurt your eyes.
Here are three from the 1950s. I think we already know that the guy lighting up is the muscle top; the one in the red swim ensemble is clenching his thighs in delight; and both are subtly cruising the ass on the one that got away.
OK, so sometimes a golf club is just a golf club. And sometimes it makes you wonder were his balls went. Especially when he's hanging out with pansies in pajamas. The guy in blue is perfect: hand on hips and wearing heels. No doubt gossiping with Daddy about the size of that club.
Men hanging out together in their underwear is hardly a sin. But why is the guy tearing off his shirt grinning hungrily at the crotch of the blond Daddy? And what's with the strange seams on the guy opening the medicine cabinet? Those shorts look like they're made to be worn with a diaper underneath. Or at least with snaps, so the seat can be lowered for fun-time.
One from the 1960s. Western shirts, vests and boots. What could be more macho than that? Except, possibly, cruising the twink with the red tie and flowery jeans? Yep, another ass that's getting away.
And two from the positively revolting 1970s.
One boy in a submissive pose. One blond twink in a short set. Looks like Mr. Orange Leisure Suit (with an ascot, no less) is having a tough time deciding who to ass-fuck first.
Not quite sure how one pattern will produce a fruity short set, a work-out suit, and bathrobe, but I do perceive a narrative structure in the image: the middle guy went cruising at the local ball-courts, picked up the guy on the left and then brought him home for a threeway with his freshly showered BFF.
So for all you guys who were psychologically damaged by the way your mothers dressed you -- grow up, wear black leather to feel better about yourselves, and support gay rights. Seriously.
Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture
Sex and Culture
Sexual Humor
Sexual Politics
Posted on 11/17/2008 6:30:24 PM by Gloria Brame
FOUND: perfectly pierced male nipple
Beautiful image by (new to me) artist Marie Vlasic.
Delicious.
Category: FOUND
Posted on 11/17/2008 6:29:29 PM by Gloria Brame
FOUND: 1878 albumen of captivity
Beautiful old albumen of a statue of a slavegirl featured in an 1878 Paris art exhibit. I believe the statue was an homage to the freeing of slaves in America.
Category: FOUND
Posted on 11/17/2008 6:28:29 PM by Gloria Brame
Weird Dog Porn Ad Campaign
Check out Coilhouse to see the ad campaign featuring an inflatable dog lovedoll. I'm not sure the lady in the toilet bowl is really better, but egad, leave the pups alone!
Which Visual is Wronger?
Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture
Sexual Humor
Sexual Strangeness
Posted on 11/17/2008 6:27:30 PM by Gloria Brame
Pfizer: too hard on candy maker
In some of the more ridiculous news of the week, mega pharmaceutical company, Pfizer, which has made a bundle from its famous wonder-drug, viagra, is trying to strong-arm a small Viennese chocolate maker into changing the name of one of its cute little products -- chocolate-covered pumpkin seeds -- because corporate thinks it looks and sounds too much like their famous blue pills.
Maybe the chocolatier should counter-sue Pfizer for producing pills that are shaped like chocolate-covered pumpkin seeds.
An Austrian pumpkin seed oil producer faces possible legal action by pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, the producer of Viagra, over his "Styriagra" chocolate-coated pumpkin seeds, according to media reports.
Pfizer reportedly found that Richard Mandl's light blue glazed candies, which are oval in size, resembled the potency pill too much, both in name and colour.
But Mandl, who has already registered the trademark, argues the name is simply a combination of the words Styria -- the southern Austrian province, known for its pumpkin seed oil, where Mandl works -- and "agra," referring to agricultural or organic products.
Blue, meanwhile, was the only colour he had not yet used for his chocolate-coated seeds...
Pfizer reportedly wants to sue him for up to 36,000 euros (45,640 dollars) in damages.
Sweet pumpkin seed snack leaves businessman with sour taste
Almost makes me want to produce a bubblegum, call it BlowZac, and see how Eli Lilly reacts.
Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture
Sexual Health
Sexual Strangeness
Posted on 11/17/2008 6:26:31 PM by Gloria Brame
Flash Sperm
Thanks to Mike for pointing me to this medical conference freebie.

And Now for Something Completely Different: www.medgadget.com
Categories: Sex and Technology
Sexual Health
Sexual Humor
Posted on 11/17/2008 6:25:32 PM by Gloria Brame
Safe-Sex Ringtone
Today's going to be a whole buncha Strange and Amusing Sex new....like India's latest attempt to remind people to get their bags on.
A media campaign featuring a mobile phone ringtone that sings "condom condom" has pushed up sale of the contraceptive by 85 million in six months, India's AIDS control body said Friday.
LINK
Hope folks shut their cellphones when they attend funerals or it could get a tad awkward....
Category: Sexual Health
Posted on 11/17/2008 6:24:32 PM by Gloria Brame
Sexual Abuse and sociopathic behavior
I'm not quite sure what to make of Ted Haggard's public announcement that he was sexually molested by a man when he was a child of seven.
My first reaction was "well, gee, there's a surprise," since it's almost a given that any time a celebrity is caught in some sexual scandal they will eventually cough up a story about how their parents didn't love them or their babysitter forced them to have sex with hamsters. In fact, I'll bet that some of those stories are even true and not simply the cynical inventions of their publicists. Maybe.
My second reaction, of course, was "yeah, that makes sense he'd be so all fucked up about his sexual identity if someone screwed with him at an early age." One of my afore-mentioned multitude of sexual theories is that more than a few kids who are gay or lesbian actually fight against their identity as a result of being molested. Put another way: I don't believe that being molested by a gay person "turns" kids gay. I do believe, however, that if you're a bi or gay child and an adult messes you up, you may always feel terrified of your true sexual identity and associate it with violence or abuse. Which, to my mind, explains perfectly why Haggard may have, at an early age, fled his naturally gay sexual identity and try to redefine himself as its diametric opposite: the gay-hating ideologue.
What interests me, though, is why Haggard is discussing this now, and why he chose to do so publicly. I would like to be charitable to him but, given his record of spectacular deception and hypocrisy, I'm not too inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt I typically grant people working on abuse issues. Instead, I wonder if he is trying to excuse his sociopathic personality by scapegoating his past.
I think of it as the Ted Bundy Defense. Right up until his execution, Bundy was blaming his murderous rampage on reading his grandpa's SM porn as a kid. But while we may all feel sympathy for people who've suffered in their youth, it doesn't excuse their hurtful acts against others when they are adults. Otherwise, serial killers would walk free.
Maybe Haggard's past haunts him: it still doesn't relieve him of the moral obligation to be a man of his word.
Most children who have been abused do NOT cheat on their life-partners, lie to their children, their families, their followers and their colleagues, or do illegal drugs while getting blow-jobs from hookers. MOST abused children grow up having learned a very bitter lesson, and make a conscious effort to avoid the mistakes that their abusers made.
Look around: not just in our BDSM community but in every human community you will find rafts of people who were abused as children. Some sexually, some emotionally, some physically. These are the people you go to church with and meet at the PTA, and for the most part, they are bearing their burdens quietly and with dignity. So much so, that I'm often the only person in the world who knows what some of my patients have lived through, because they have been that strong, and honorable, and socially dutiful as to make sure they never repeat the harm that's been done to them.
So why is Haggard telling us his tale of woe? If he isn't trying to manipulate opinion by making himself seem like a poor woeful victim (neatly hopping over the great steaming pile of hurt he inflicted on his Christian family)...then why does he think we need to hear this?
Disgraced evangelical pastor Ted Haggard says he was sexually abused as a child and that the experience "started to rage in my mind and in my heart" when he was caught up in a sex scandal involving a male prostitute.
Haggard said one of his father's employees "had a sexual experience with me" when Haggard was 7, according to audio recordings of the sermons posted on the ABC News Web site.
Haggard said he later became "a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things.
"But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in the second grade started to rage in my mind and in my heart," he said.
Disgraced Pastor Haggard Claims Abuse
One final thought: when people play the "I was abused" card, they actually do a huge disservice to the vast majority of people who were abused and have fought their demons. There's only one person who made Ted Haggard become a lying, cheating, narcissistic hypocrite: Ted Haggard.
Categories: Sex and Relationships
Sex and Spirituality
Sexual Politics
Posted on 11/15/2008 6:19:23 AM by Gloria Brame
Have sex until you die
If you've ever spent any time talking with me, you know I am chock full o' theories about sex and sexuality. One of these is that people should set themselves the goal of being sexually active for the rest of their lives: God willing, literally until the day they die. I know it can be a tough concept for young people to face, and not exactly thrilling for the middle-aged either, but it seems mad to me that people will financially plan for retirement and not emotionally prepare for the sexological changes that age brings. What's the point of having a nice place to live if you feel miserable inside yourself?
The reason why it's important to remain sexual throughout is simple: sex is good for you. Or, rather, good sex is good for you. Bad sex is just depressing and frustrating, but good sex AHHHH. Whether you're 20 or 80, it keeps your heart healthier, your reproductive system sounder, helps your mind to relax and your spirit to rejoice in a flow of happy brain chemicals. Sex helps us feel connected to ourselves and our lovers. It improves self-esteem. It energizes the body. It washes away stress. It makes people feel like they're still in the game of life as players, not observers. For life partners, good sex is a beautiful way to express romantic love and commitment. Though needs may diminish with time, and the burning urgency of youth may wane to more of a warm glow, sex can always be a source of pleasure and comfort in life.
I was delighted to find this little gem about a University of Chicago study showing that aging and sex go together. It's in a sweet story about the ineffable Dr. Ruth.
“At what age do people stop having sex?” the moderator asks.
“Never!” Dr. Ruth responds.....
A University of Chicago study interviewed 3,000 men and women ages 57 to 85 in their homes. The results showed that many men and women remain sexually active, participating in intercourse, oral sex and masturbation,well into their 70s and 80s.
Dr. Ruth talks about sex and seniors
Category: Sexual Health
Posted on 11/15/2008 6:18:27 AM by Gloria Brame
Is McColo behind penis spam too?
Regular readers know I've occasionally graced the blog with "found poems" based on hilarious spam mail for fake penis enhancement pills. Apparently, some bots found out I like sex and my mailboxes were hammered with improbable claims from those who have made a mint on men who think their dicks are small.
Recently, however, the tidal wave of snake oil PR has turned into a trickle and I'm wondering if I can thank a hard-working reporter at the Washington Post for this spam relief.
According to the article clipped below, 75% of all US spam mail was hosted by McColo. Is it possible that my mailboxes are feeling cleaner lately because these dirtbags are on the run, now that their ISPs have shut them down? I'm even getting fewer Nigerian bank scams and "you've won the lottery" emails. Have you noticed a drop in the amount of spam you're getting?
Host of Spam Groups Is Blocked From Internet Access.
The volume of junk e-mail sent worldwide may have dropped drastically yesterday after a Web-hosting firm, identified by many in the computer security community as a major host of organizations engaged in spam activity, was taken offline.
McColo, a San Jose Web-hosting company that, according to computer security experts, serves as a U.S. staging ground for international firms that sell a variety of items, including counterfeit pharmaceuticals and child pornography, ceased operations after two Internet providers blocked Web access.
SecureWorks, an Atlanta security-services provider, estimates that McColo was responsible for 75 percent of all spam sent in the United States each day.
The good news is that McColo is temporarily out of biz. The bad news is that experts believe McColo will relocate and do it all over again.
By the way: the next time law enforcement shuts down a BDSM club, ask yourself why no agencies seem to be going after McColo, which also hosted child porn. It took the reporter at the WaPo to piece together McColo's trail of slime across the web.
Categories: Sex and Technology
Sex Laws and Crimes
Sex On-Line
Posted on 11/15/2008 6:17:29 AM by Gloria Brame
VD v STD: why?
Having just posted a story about AIDS, I suddenly wondered: what ever happened to the term most of us grew up with, i.e., Venereal Disease (VD)? Naturally, I turned to Wiki to find out why, when and how Americans stopped calling, um, hooha and weewee diseases VD and began using the clinical terms.
I found some basic background (the popular terminology changed in the 1990s), and also an informative nugget on the distinction between an STI and STD:
Sometimes
the terms STI and STD are used interchangeably. This can be confusing
and not always accurate, so it helps first to understand the difference
between infection and disease. Infection simply means that a germ — virus, bacteria, or parasite —
that can cause disease or sickness if present inside a person’s body.
An infected person does not necessarily have any symptoms or signs that
the virus or bacteria is actually hurting his or her body; they do not
necessarily feel sick. A disease means that the infection is actually
causing the infected person to feel sick, or to notice something is
wrong.
link
But this didn't answer my question about why we linguistically abandoned VD. Any sexological etymologists care to speculate? Was VD the product of our cultural shame about sex, while STD makes even chronic crotch rot smell sweet? Did VD fall victim to medico-political correctness, as elitist clinical speech triumphed over the common man's colloquialism?
I can understand why we abandoned the other, less appetizing term ("social disease") but VD always sounded, oh, I don't know, sort of sweet and tasteful, what with its connection to Venus the goddess of love.
A disease you get from love. A LOVE disease. It has a strange kind of mystery about it. A weirdly dark attraction. Something you catch from a passionate stranger! It's dangerous and gothy. Byronesque. Vampiric. Unhealthy. In a really hot way.
Whereas a disease you get from sex...yuck. Who wants one of those?
Categories: Sex and Culture
Sexual Health
Sexual Humor
Sexual Science and Medicine
Posted on 11/15/2008 6:16:30 AM by Gloria Brame
First AIDS cure yields hope
I've been surprised to see that this story hasn't gotten the media attention it deserves, particularly since (subtly anti-gay) AIDS hysteria always gets big headlines when the news is bad.
I'd like to think that the only reason the story hasn't been more widely reported is because people are being cautious not to raise false hopes. It is too soon to know whether this is a genuine cure for the disease. For the moment, there are too many variables and questions to feel 100% sure that it's more than an anomaly.
Still the idea that someone has REALLY medically cured AIDS through a brilliant experiment in cutting-edge science strikes me as perhaps the most important medical news of the year.
Below is a clip from the article which explains how a Dr. Huetter in Berlin, treating an HIV+ American for a second condition, leukemia, decided to try something new and give him a bone marrow transplant from donors who had those oh-so-precious genes known to successfully fight the HIV virus.
Like a scene right out of House, M.D., the doctor figured he might as well try to kill two birds with one stone and see what happened. What happened is that, for the nearly two years since performing that fascinating experiment, the patient has been completely infection-free.
Doctors say marrow transplant may have cured AIDS
Dr. Gero Huetter said his 42-year-old patient, an American living in Berlin who was not identified, had been infected with the AIDS virus for more than a decade. But 20 months after undergoing a transplant of genetically selected bone marrow, he no longer shows signs of carrying the virus.
"We waited every day for a bad reading," Huetter said.
It has not come.
Researchers at Berlin's Charite hospital and medical school say tests on his bone marrow, blood and other organ tissues have all been clean.
Whether these results can be replicated is the question on everyone's mind. And, of course, at least for now, the cost and difficulty of implementing this technique (from finding the donors to dealing with the incredible expenses involved) put it out of reach for most AIDS victims.
But if it cured one person, perhaps it will cure another, and perhaps, in the end, will lead to the cure for everyone.
Categories: Sexual Health
Sexual Science and Medicine
Posted on 11/15/2008 6:15:31 AM by Gloria Brame