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FOUND: French Cuckoldry Card

Lovely example of French sexual humor, depicting cuckolds with antlers.

No idea what year this is from, but will guess sometime in the 19-oughts or 19-teens.

My (totally poetically licensed and yet oddly nuanced) translation of the French:

We know you're not a live wire.
Your wife finds you cold in bed.
You could try building a fire.
From the rack of wood on your head.

Category: FOUND
Posted on 11/7/2008 8:11:38 AM by Gloria Brame

Found Fest

Today will be a day of "Found" goodies that I've hunted down over the last few weeks, when I was doing nine million things to allay my election-o-phobia ...and some of these are REAL gems.   Stay tuned for dough boys, cuckolds, spankings and more.

Category: FOUND
Posted on 11/7/2008 8:10:39 AM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: Matronly spanking, 1950s

Great cheesy vintage shot of a matronly lady using a "Board of Education" paddle on a girl.  Bonus hilarity: guess they couldn't risk showing real bruises for this, but did they have to add those stripes on the girl's bottom with a crayon? 

(pssst to the clueless photo retoucher...paddles don't create stripes: canes cause stripes)

Categories: Sex and History Sex and Relationships Sex and Sadomasochism
Posted on 11/6/2008 10:38:55 AM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: She Spanks to Conquer, ca. 1908

To spare you squinting, the verse accompanying this historic spanking gem from 1908 (!) reads:

"It's a great big shame,
And if she belonged to me,
I'd let her know who's who;
Smacking a fellow who is six foot three
And her only four foot two."

Categories: Sex and History Sex and Sadomasochism Sexual Humor
Posted on 11/5/2008 12:32:45 PM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: Jesus Christ, Spanking Star

Thanks to Stephen for finding this bizarre page from a religious comic on the My Spanking Digest blog. 

I'd say "oh my God!" but, ummmm...I'm Jewish.

This is really the creepiest comic I've ever seen.  Not just because of spanking Jesus but the notion that illness (and I guess even a car accident) is God's punishment.  Anyone know which denomination this might be?

Categories: Religion Sex and Sadomasochism Sex and Spirituality
Posted on 11/5/2008 12:31:48 PM by Gloria Brame

Petition for Change: DSM and BDSM

Writer, activist, and former head of the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom, Susan Wright, has created an on-line petition to lobby the American Psychiatric Association to revise its diagnosis of BDSM and --finally--depathologize consensual adult kink.  It's an important and worthwhile goal that numerous therapists, doctors, and other sexologists have been laboring to achieve. 

If you have some time today, visit the DSM Revision Petition on The Petition Site and add your name (you may opt to keep your name unpublished, to protect your privacy).    The petition has a goal of 5000 signatures, and is only about one quarter of the way there.

Categories: Sex and Sadomasochism Sexual Politics Sexual Science and Medicine
Posted on 11/5/2008 12:30:48 PM by Gloria Brame

OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!

CNN has just projected him the winner!

McCain can't catch up now!

I'm so excited I can barely type!

Category: Current Affairs
Posted on 11/5/2008 12:29:49 PM by Gloria Brame

Most important vote of the day

Categories: Current Affairs Pets and Animal Love
Posted on 11/5/2008 12:28:50 PM by Gloria Brame

This moment in American history....

has been brought to you by....

 

 

World peace and brotherhood are based on a
common understanding of the contributions
and cultures of all races and creeds."
-- Mary McLeod Bethune

 

Sing along!

Category: Current Affairs
Posted on 11/5/2008 12:27:50 PM by Gloria Brame

Tonight's first scream of joy!

Obama seizes command of race for the White House.

Category: Current Affairs
Posted on 11/5/2008 12:26:51 PM by Gloria Brame

When Laws Are Crimes

This item caught my eye last week. It goes to the heart of the problem with many of our sex laws: simply put, that they are unreasonably broad and make little or no distinctions between violent criminals and people who are not, and never were, dangerous.  The most egregious cases usually involve gay men busted for consensual adult sex and adolescent males prosecuted (under statutory rape laws) for consensual sex with their adolescent girlfriends.  In this gentleman's case, a crime he may or may not have committed when he was a child continues to haunt him, as the legal system treats him the same  as rapists and pedophiles. 

Andrew Norton grew up in a brutish household. His stepfather beat him and his brothers and made them watch pornography with him. Norton was forced to sleep at the foot of the bed while his mother and stepfather had sexual relations. After the state eventually intervened and terminated parental rights, Norton was placed in a foster family when he was 13.

Norton, now a married man with two children of his own, has since found solace in his family and his church, where he has been an active volunteer. But the state of Georgia that was once his protector has become his persecutor. After driving him out of four homes in the past four years, state officials now want to drive him out of his church as well.

Back when he was 12 or 13, police allege, Norton committed a sex offense against his half brother (the case is still in dispute in court, roughly a dozen years later). Unless that case is resolved in his favor, Norton will be on the state’s sex offender registry for life. And that means that Norton has no life.

The General Assembly has decreed that anyone who commits a sex offense —- even a minor one —- can’t live near schools, churches, swimming pools, school bus stops, day-care centers, parks, rec centers or skating rinks, or work around schools, churches or day-care centers.

Sex offender statute becomes tormentor

What is particularly grievous, IMO, is that this guy was hideously sexually abused as a child and was, in fact, as much a victim as the kid he may have hurt. I'm all for throwing the book at adults who abuse children and people who commit sexual assault or otherwise force non-consenting individuals into sex. But the fact that our legal system is ruining this man's life because his abuse (by adults) resulted in a lapse of judgment when he was 12 is a disgusting travesty of justice.

Category: Sex Laws and Crimes
Posted on 11/4/2008 3:12:07 PM by Gloria Brame

Get out the Naked Vote

Oh come on: where's Pasco County's sense of humor? Or sense of patriotism? Can you imagine how many people would head over to the nudist election site to press those ever-sensitive buttons? I mean the ones on the machines, of course.  Plus think of all the creative places you could put your "I voted" stickers.

The nudists at Florida's Caliente Resort have asked Pasco County elections officials to set up a clothing-optional polling place for their community. Brian Corley, Pasco's supervisor of elections, dismissed the request as a publicity stunt.

"I think they're just doing some marketing hype," said Corley, adding he heard there was a news release by Caliente touting its request....

Nothing in state law prohibits a nudist polling place, but how would the clerks and deputies wear their badges? "Even if I was behind what they were asking for--which I explained I am not--it's just too much to ask right now," added Corley.

Nudists won't get own polling site

Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture Sexual Humor Sexual Politics
Posted on 11/4/2008 3:11:11 PM by Gloria Brame

Election Day coping mechanisms

If you're as nervous and excited about the election as all of us here at Castle Bramenstein...then you probably aren't getting very much sleep either!

Things I've been doing to distract myself from the agony and ecstasy of awaiting the outcome of this election....

Extra play time with my dogs.  Because when you stroke your animal friend's soft fur you enter their election-neutral reality.  "Election, e-schmektion.  How about some chicken treats?"

Extra tank-care for my fish.  Because you can't forget the old Animal Planet commercial where the fish tell their owner, "Everything's ok in here, Bob!" 

Redecorating my office.  Because even if nothing changes in America, you can always put a chair in a new position and alter your feng shui.

Lots and lots of online shopping.  One might even say obsessive shopping.  Because staring at a whole bunch of things you totally don't need yet suddenly feel you must have requires only one very simple decision: to buy or not to buy. 

Watching TV.  Because trying to figure out if Miguel Prado is really as sociopathically bloodthirsty as Dexter Morgan is so much more relaxing than trying to figure out if John McCain is really as sociopathically bloodthirsty as Dick Cheney. 

Are you nervous about the election?  How are you coping with your jitters?

Category: Post-Modern Pop Culture
Posted on 11/4/2008 3:10:13 PM by Gloria Brame

For those who like a little humiliation with their infantilism

Set of 2 Whacky Baby Pacifiers - eBay

Category: Sexual Humor
Posted on 11/3/2008 5:31:51 PM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: Accidental Porn

I think of this pic as "accidental" because I can't help thinking the models never intended to be porn models in the first place.  Although the girls clearly are posing willingly for this campy old (50s? 60s?) shot, something about their expressions and positions scream amateur, if not dupe.   It gives me the queasy feeling that they had no idea what they were in for when they showed up for this appointment.

Maybe it's the tight-lipped look on the face of the woman on the left and the stiff way she's standing.  She looks totally uneasy about being naked.  If she sucked in her belly any harder, her ass would blow off.

But the dazed celeb-u-grin on the one with the bee-hived bob isn't exactly reassuring either.  She looks as if she's posing on the red carpet at the Academy awards instead of in a cheap, grotty office somewhere in midtown Manhattan.  Or maybe Cleveland.  Let me guess...um...could it be a wannabe actress/model who thought this was her first step towards theatrical greatness? *cringe*  I can almost see the photographer conning these two naifs into peeling off their clothes while he snapped as fast as he could before they realized what was happening.

OK, ok, so I have a vivid imagination.  So shoot me.  What do you see?  Better still, perhaps someone can prove me wrong and provide the names of these models and other nude work they did. :)

Categories: Sex and History Sexual Beauty
Posted on 11/1/2008 3:17:26 AM by Gloria Brame

Two Little Lessons for a Longer Life

There have been some charmingly twisted oddities in the news lately.  Obviously, with the financial markets collapsing, the country's most historic election occurring, soldiers still dying in Iraq and Afghanistan, rampant corruption in Washington, species vanishing and glaciers melting, the media knows just what stories require the most urgent coverage. 

I bring you, via our vital public servant, the world-wide media, two of the stories that have received the most attention this week, and reveal each one's secret spiritual meaning.  Think of 'em as your Halloween 2008 Zen lessons.

Train toilet drags passenger round the bend

BORDEAUX, France (AFP) – A Frenchman became trapped while trying to fish his mobile phone out of the toilet on a high-speed train, forcing firefighters to cut through the U-bend to free him, passengers said.

"He came out on a stretcher, with his hand still jammed in the toilet bowl, which they had to saw clean off," said Benoit Gigou, who witnessed Sunday's rescue....

The service was delayed for two hours after the 26-year-old victim, hunting for his lost telephone, fell prey to the powerful suction system which drains the loos on board.

Zen Lesson #1: You may fish without a hook, but you will not catch anything without a brain.

Spicy pork sausage found in 'soiled diapers'

Customs inspectors scored the makings of a barbecue when a 21-year-old South Texas woman declared several soiled baby diapers at a U.S.-Mexico border crossing.

Suspicious of the chunky diapers, inspectors with U.S. Customs and Border Protection at the international bridge in Hidalgo found several links of spicy pork sausage, or chorizo, inside. The diapers had been folded to look soiled, according to a customs agency statement.

The Mission resident, who was not identified after the Friday night incident, was fined $300 and her chorizo was seized.

Zen lesson #2:  No matter where you go, make sure your shit is real.

Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder Sexual Humor
Posted on 11/1/2008 3:16:31 AM by Gloria Brame

FOUND: Super Duper Woman

Speaking of big girls who like to have fun....

Category: Sexual Humor
Posted on 11/1/2008 3:15:34 AM by Gloria Brame

Fat Girls Have More Fun

Now here's a study I believe: Fat women have more sex than ‘normal’ counterparts.

 It's never been proven that thin women are more likely to get laid than women with curves. From talking to gezillions of men about their sexual preferences, I could probably count on only one hand the number of men who felt that extra padding was bad. Most men are accepting of body size variations, whereas the one who only find bone-thin ladies attractive is vanishingly small. On the other hand, I have heard, over and over and over again, how extra padding is (or can be) very sexy and have known quite a few men with a decided preference for round and curvalicious girls.

When it comes to being judgmental about weight on a woman, that judgment usually comes from other women, and from the dopey magazines we read which send the message that we won't get a man unless we look anorexic.

So I'm liking this simple study which makes the honest observation that women of the plumper persuasion are as desirable as the next gal, and possibly even more so.

Categories: Sex and Relationships Sexual Beauty Sexual Health Sexual Science and Medicine
Posted on 11/1/2008 3:14:35 AM by Gloria Brame

Just Say HELL NO to Prop 8

On the off-chance you need the nudge, I'd like to urge Californians to please vote NO on Proposition 8.

(*hop on Mindful soapbox* if you're a straight but kinky (or even kinky-ish) person, don't forget that whither goest our gay brethren go we.  The best way to ensure that your rights will be protected tomorrow is by standing up for the rights of other sexual minorities today.  *hop off*)

Visit the official No On 8, Don't Eliminate Marriage For Anyone campaign site.

Categories: Post-Modern Pop Culture Sex and History Sex Laws and Crimes Sexual Politics
Posted on 11/1/2008 3:13:37 AM by Gloria Brame

Perverts Who Question

Salon Mothers Who Think | Different hero, different war.

Category: Sexual Politics
Posted on 10/31/2008 2:40:09 AM by Gloria Brame

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