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Microscopic Lesbian Necrophilia

If you wanted any further proof that the definition of “perversion” is conditioned by any number of contingent factors (time, place, species, etc), you might consider the case of Bdelloidea, microscopic aquatic creatures. One of the most popular articles of the year over at Discover describes the strange lives of these tiny animals. Not only do these “minuscule, transparent animals routinely survive periods of complete dessication that can last from days to years,” they also consist entirely of females. How do they reproduce? Scientists have long known that they utilize a form of asexual reproduction known as parthenogenesis. There are some twists to the process, though. For example, the rotifers scarf up DNA from other plants and animals as well.

… upon patching up their own DNA, the bdelloids simultaneously incorporate random scraps of DNA from other organisms. This so-called horizontal gene transfer is extremely rare among animals, and in the bdelloids’ case can include DNA from almost anything that was in their soupy habitat at the time things dried up, including whatever they just ate. In only 1 percent of the bdelloid genome, Meselson found dozens of foreign genes from bacteria, plants, and fungi inserted among the native nucleotides.

You read that correctly. The organisms can absorb DNA from their own food products. That would be like going to a fast-food restaurant and picking up some DNA from a hamburger. Or would it be more like going to a fast-food restaurant and picking up some DNA from the toilet? The article isn’t quite clear on this point, but if the creature is vacuuming up DNA from anything in its soupy environment, this would seem to include waste products.

Even more astonishingly, the rotifers also pick up DNA from the corpses of fellow rotifers.

It’s likely, he says, that during recovery from dessication, bdelloids pick up genes from members of their own species, too — dead members, that is, whose genes spill out of ruptured cell membranes. That process would provide the kind of genetic reshuffling that other animals achieve through sexual reproduction. “It may be their form of sex,” Meselson says. “But their partner is essentially dead. So you’d have to call it necrophilia. Actually, since they’re all females, lesbian necrophilia.”

What makes this especially interesting is that perversion is customarily defined by its sterility. An act is considered perverse, according to this view, when leads to spilled seed rather than to baby-making. That’s why traditionally masturbation and homosexuality were considered perverse. They occurred outside the baby-making context of man and wife. In the case of these rotifers, however, it is precisely a “sterile” act — necrophilia — which has become a means of perpetuating the species. It practically makes you fantasize about some post-apocalyptic scenario such as a sci-fi novel might present. If a nuclear bomb killed all the men in the world, would women find a way to vary their DNA by rubbing up against the cadavers?

Category: Necrophilia
Posted on 12/17/2008 11:02:57 PM by Supervert

Man Jailed For Having Sex With A Horse

“Leeroy Le Gallais, 46, broke into the animal’s stable on two separate occasions to perform sex acts on the terrified animal. During his first attack he used a bucket to stand behind the horse, called Calico, but was caught after leaving his underwear at the scene. He was given a three-year probation order, but just months later returned to have sex with the same horse at the Castel Stable in Guernsey. On the night of the second attack, on April 25 this year, Calico’s owner Michael Wortley checked on the animal in his stable at 6.30pm. The 20-year-old bay gelding was covered with a blanket but when Mr Wortley returned in the morning the blanket was on the floor. A mounting stool that was left outside the stable had been taken inside and police immediately suspected Le Gallais was responsible. After the second attack Calico was seen ‘box walking’, or moving sideways, a common sign of stress. Le Gallais, of St Peter Port, Guernsey, was jailed for three years at Guernsey’s Royal Court after admitting having sex with the animal. He told the court: ‘I had a few beers, I went to the stable and interfered with the horse.’ Le Gallais said his second attack came after he ate in a restaurant and drank a few glasses of red wine before visiting a bar. He had intended to go home but ended up at the stable where he ‘played around’ with the horse. Le Gallais initially denied any knowledge of the matter but when told by police that forensic samples had been taken he admitted going to the stable. He told the court: ‘Maybe I had a little bit of an urge or something. I mean, like a sexual, a sexual thing, I suppose you could call it that.’” — Telegraph (UK)

Once you’ve contemplated the notorious case in Washington of the man who was fucked to death by a horse, it’s not so shocking to see others “interfering” or “playing around” with the animal. Mr. Le Gallais may have been caught, but at least his colon wasn’t perforated by a phallus the size of a grown man’s arm.

The peculiar thing about this story is the way the man spoke about the deed in court. “I had a few beers, I went to the stable and interfered with the horse… Maybe I had a little bit of an urge or something. I mean, like a sexual, a sexual thing, I suppose you could call it that.” A little bit of an urge? A little urge causes a guy to jerk off or make a pass at someone. To break into an animal stable and do naughty things to a horse requires something more than that — an urge large enough to cause you to commit a petty crime and to violate an imposing taboo on sexual activity between humans and animals.

What’s peculiar is that the guy — and many others like him — was able to do the deed but not talk about it very directly. There are people who can do it, who can fuck animals, and there are people who can talk about it comfortably enough (hi commenters), but to do it and get up on a podium to talk about it? It takes a special perv to say, “Yeah, well, it sucks I got caught, but I was horny, a little drunk, and that horse seemed mighty appealing at the time. What’s the big deal?”

Category: Bestiality
Posted on 12/14/2008 10:03:24 PM by Supervert

The Simpsons and Child Pornography

“Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson are at the center of a legal case in Australia that ponders a bizarre — and slightly creepy — question: Are drawings that depict the younger members of the Simpsons clan engaged in carnal activities merely offensive and crude? or do they actually constitute child pornography? Yesterday, an Australian judge ruled that such images are indeed illegal. The decision upholds the conviction of a man who was found guilty in February of possessing child pornography, after the offending cartoons (which were piracies and not official Simpsons ware) were discovered on his computer. It is not clear how or why the man was arrested, or whether his arrest was part of a larger sting operation. Absurd as it may sound, the case is the latest to address what, exactly, constitutes child pornography in the age of the Internet and digital design. As American legislators try to stem the scourge of child pornography on the Internet, they have outlawed so-called ‘virtual’ pornography that, while depicting children, is entirely computer-generated or based on digitally altered images of adults. In May, the United States Supreme Court upheld these prohibitions. And in Iowa, a 38-year-old comic collector was charged with possessing child pornography after federal authorities seized his collection of manga comic books, a Japanese form that sometimes features graphic depictions of sex.” — New York Times (US)

Several different readers (Warren, Emma, and Chris Finch) sent in links to this story about a Simpsons cartoon parody being classified as child pornography. This New York Times article does a decent job summarizing the issues.

It is obvious that child pornography — and child prostitution as well — have become international hot-button issues. In the past, the difficulty has been how to determine what is or isn’t pornographic, as exemplified by the famous pronouncement “I know it when I see it” offered by Justice Potter Stewart in 1964. In this case, the emphasis is on a different point — not what is pornography but what is a child or, more broadly, a person. Does an animated character count? It may seem ridiculous to consider a Simpsons character a “person,” but what authorities fear is a slippery slope. Given the sophistication of computer illustration, if a cartoon character isn’t considered a “person,” it will open up the way for forms of animation that are virtually indistinguishable from photographic — i.e. real and abusive — child pornography.

The irony, of course, is that while lawmakers are battening down on child pornography, children are making themselves increasingly pornographic. Just today PervScan reader Furpo sent in two links to articles declaring More Young Adults Engaging In Risky Anal Sex and 1 in 5 Teens Engaging in “Tech” Sex. What happens when these young people who have grown up with a lifelong awareness of pornography become adults and lawmakers?

In his book Centuries of Childhood: A Social History of Family Life, the historian Philippe Ariès writes about the development of the notion of childhood innocence, defined roughly as “should be kept away from all matters sexual.” His work is worth quoting at length not only for its humor but for the perspective that it gives:

One of the unwritten laws of contemporary morality, the strictest and best respected of all, requires adults to avoid any reference, above all humorous reference, to sexual matters in the presence of children. This notion was entirely foreign to the society of old. The modern reader of the diary in which Henry IV’s physician, Heroard, recorded the details of the young Louis XIII’s life is astonished by the liberties which people took with children, by the coarseness of the jokes they made, and by the indecency of gestures made in public which shocked nobody and which were regarded as perfectly natural. No other document can give us a better idea of the non-existence of the modern idea of childhood at the beginning of the seventeenth century.

Louis XIII was not yet one year old: “He laughed uproariously when his nanny waggled his cock with her fingers.” An amusing trick which the child soon copied. Calling a page, “he shouted ‘Hey there!’ and pulled up his robe, showing him his cock.”

He was one year old: “In high spirits,” notes Heroard, “he made everybody kiss his cock.” This amused them all…

Ariès gives further examples. This is not to say that morality, where childhood is concerned, was better or worse in the 17th century. It is to say, rather, that morality is historically conditioned. Can there be any doubt that we are going through the growing pains that signal a transition from one conception of childhood to another? Adults today continue to uphold the identification of childhood and innocence — and yet children themselves already seem to be abandoning it to play with their cocks, like Louis XIII.

Category: Pedophilia
Posted on 12/11/2008 9:14:02 PM by Supervert

Vicar Went To Hospital With Potato Stuck In Bottom

“A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom — and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked. The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table. He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game. The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in Sheffield have had to remove from people’s backsides or genitals. Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll — and a carnation. Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital, said; ‘He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato. But it’s not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed.’ She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again. ‘It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening,’ she said. ‘Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result.’” — Telegraph (UK)

(Thanks to Angela St Lawrence for the link.)

If you were keeping a list of the year’s lamest excuses, “fell ass-down on a potato” has to rank near the top. You can’t help but wonder if it was peeled or not. And good lord, what if, instead of a potato, he’d had a watermelon on the table? A gourd? Would he have accidentally sodomized himself with that too? And doesn’t his excuse contains a subtle admission of perverse behavior anyway? If he was changing curtains while naked, it implies that he might have been trying to expose himself.

Ever hear that old Smiths song “Vicar in a Tutu?” Well, this case was something more like “Tater in a Vicar.” The glorious part about the song, though, is that it portrays the tutu-wearing vicar as “not strange… He just wants to live his life this way.” It’s too bad the Tater Vicar can’t achieve the same self-acceptance. In the Bible there are prohibitions against adultery, incest, and bestiality, but nowhere in the good book does it say you can’t fuck yourself in the ass with a tuber.

Category: Sodomy
Posted on 12/10/2008 9:05:28 PM by Supervert

Intelligent “Have Better Sperm”

“Men of higher intelligence tend to produce better quality sperm, UK research suggests. A team from the Institute of Psychiatry analysed data from former US soldiers who served during the Vietnam war era. They found that those who performed better on intelligence tests tended to have more — and more mobile — sperm. The study, which appears in the journal Intelligence, appears to support the idea that genes underlying intelligence may have other biological effects too… if tiny mutations impair intelligence, they might also harm other characteristics, such as sperm quality. Conversely, people with robust genes might be blessed with a biological ‘fitness factor’ making them fit, healthy and smart. Previously, scientists tended to assume that lifestyle factors were more likely to underlie any relationship between intelligence and health. For instance, brighter people may be less likely to smoke, and more likely to take exercise, both of which are known to impact on mental performance.” — BBC (UK)

(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)

The authors of this study were quick to point out that their finding does not indicate that less intelligent men necessarily have poor sperm quality. Instead they found a “small, but statistically significant link” between intelligence and sperm quality. It has a vaguely eugenic air — have you ever, in a frustrated moment, wished to bring genocide on the heads of idiots? Well, physiologically, they’re already doing it to themselves. Scientifically, though, it all makes perfect sense. Evolution weeds out the weak, and intelligence is a strength.

It would be really fascinating to test the semen of sexual deviants as well. Is there any correlation between sperm quality and a tendency to perversion? Maybe it would turn out that, statistically, perverts have inferior sperm and therefore lust after things — feet, animals, cadavers — where, pregnancy being impossible, sperm quality is irrelevant. Or maybe it would be the exact opposite. Maybe perverted men would have wonderful, powerful sperm. Because of this, their reproductive prospects would be so generally good that these guys could afford to blow a few wads on, say, dead deer.

Any graduate students out there? Bored lab techs working at sperm clinics? Hardcore pervs who have happened to have their semen analyzed (a common procedure when a couple is having difficulty conceiving)?

Category: Miscellaneous
Posted on 12/8/2008 8:29:15 PM by Supervert

Man Says Wife Was Accidentally Shot During Sex

“A Tri-State woman is in critical condition Wednesday after police say her husband shot her while they were having sex. Timothy Havens, 38, told Springfield police he was reaching for something on the nightstand when the pistol went off, hitting his estranged wife Carolyn in the upper chest. Carolyn Havens, 42, is being treated at Miami Valley Hospital in Dayton. This is isn’t the first time there’s been trouble for the Havens. Court documents showed Timothy served 60 days in jail for assaulting his wife and was ordered to go to anger management classes. His arrest Tuesday for the weekend shooting was for violating a civil protection order that Carolyn had taken out against him earlier this year. Bond was set at $75,000 after prosecutors asked for a high bond, ‘due to alleged prohibited contact between the parties (and) the suspicious nature of the circumstances surrounding (her injury).’” — WLWT (US)

If you listen to part of the husband’s 911 call, you can hear his exchange with the dispatcher. What makes his call disturbing is not what he says but how he says it. After all, if you’d just shot somebody you loved, wouldn’t you be saying something like, “Oh shit, Jesus fucking Christ, come quick, help, she’s bleeding, I can’t believe what happened, holy fuck!” Mr. Havens, in contrast, is terse in his responses and affectless in his tone. He sounds bored. Maybe it’s a result of the numbness that comes with post-traumatic shock…

Or maybe not. Let’s reconstruct the crime. A guy has been legally obliged to take anger management classes for assaulting his wife. Ignoring the restraining order, he invites her over one night, puts on some romantic records, wines and dines her into the bedroom, where he just happens to have a loaded pistol lying beside the bed. And, shit, he just happens to have left off the safety. And shit, while he’s banging away at the missus, he just happens to realize he should move this dangerous weapon away from the bed. And whoops, while he’s moving it, it just happens to hit his old lady right in the boiler room (deer-hunter lingo for chest cavity). That’s a few too many just happens to be credible.

Deliberate? Possibly. Stupid? Undoubtedly. Perverse? No. Why feature it on PervScan? Because it’s got sex and violence and, really, it’s a relief after reading the ten-thousandth news item about yet another middle-aged man caught with child pornography.

Category: Miscellaneous
Posted on 12/5/2008 5:17:18 PM by Supervert

Foot Fetish Roundup

In contrast to the many other forms of sexual deviance that are potentially violent and criminal, foot fetishism seems like a gentle perversion. Take the kissing, licking, and sucking of toes — there’s something very tender about it, almost bucolic, like rainbows or sunny meadows. It calls to mind Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. It suggests a benevolent attitude toward things normally considered ugly. Foot fetishism is where the sexual pervert coincides with the injunction, so often told to vicious little girls, to find “inner beauty.” Isn’t that what the foot fetishist does — find some inner beauty in the digits of the foot?

Given its relatively benign nature, it is surprising that foot fetishism ends up in the news as often as it does. There are currently half a dozen incidents where this congenial fetish crossed over the line into illegality. For example, there is the “alleged foot manipulator” who impersonated a doctor in a Target store and touched a woman’s toes. There is the trial of the Philadelphia man who ordered women “to remove their shoes so he could suck their toes and fondle their feet.” He also robbed them at gunpoint, and yet the story places its emphasis on the foot fetishism. Wouldn’t you rather have your toes sucked and fondled than your purse or wallet taken away? You’d have thought that being robbed is the more noteworthy crime.

Then there is the more interesting story of the Vancouver woman tricked into posing for photographs that subsequently appeared on a fetish site.

Shannon Caicedo, who owns a futon and bed store in the Vancouver Mall, said a man named Tracy came into her store last month and told her he needed video and pictures of feet for a school project.

“He said, ‘I’m with the reflexology school and we’re trying to get some pictures of people’s feet,’” Caicedo said.

At the time, Caicedo said, it seemed like a simple favor for a student.

“He starts taking pictures of my feet and videotaping. I guess, looking back, it was kind of an odd thing,” Caicedo said. “He kept explaining, ‘OK, now this is what I’m doing. This is why I’m taking these pictures. Can you spread out your toes?’”

The photographer’s photos, however, ended up on a foot fetish Web site.

On Tuesday morning, Caicedo received an e-mail from someone in Canada who saw her photo on back40foot.com, a Web site with photos of feet of women older than 40 years old.

“There’s other people who look just like me who look like they’re trying to help, not like they’re trying to be on a foot fetish Web site,” Caicedo said.

Here is a rule of thumb: if you’re not comfortable posing for a foot fetish web site, never take your shoes off in front of a camera. In this day and age, you just don’t know where any photograph is going to turn up. The poet Mallarmé once said that the world exists only to end up in a book. Well, nowadays it exists only to end up on the internet. Ask Paris Hilton. She understands.

Finally, there is the heartwarming tale of the Chinese man who woke his wife from a decade-long coma by biting her toes. “I played the radio, sang and talked to her, even tickled her, but nothing worked,” he told a newspaper. “I then recalled someone saying that the feet are the home for many nerves. I wondered if I could wake her up by biting her feet.” However, given the fact that he spent ten years biting her toes, you have to wonder two things. First, is there really a cause-and-effect relationship between biting the toes and awaking from a coma? Probably not. Second, does the fact that a guy spends ten years gnawing his comatose wife’s toes say anything about his psychology? Is that love? A benign fetishism? Both?

Category: Fetish
Posted on 12/3/2008 5:34:11 PM by Supervert

Economic Tough Times Hit Nevada Brothel

“A woman who had just scored a precious high-paying job in the midst of a disastrous economy was willing to fly in from out of town to take it. Her new boss, Susan Austin, had spared no expense and the woman was quickly whisked into a waiting limo at the Reno, Nev., airport. For the sake of privacy, we’re calling the woman ‘Kimberly,’ and the coveted job she got was as a prostitute at one of the few places in America where it’s legal — the self-proclaimed ‘world famous’ Mustang Ranch… Kimberly’s explanation for getting into the business is simple. Times are tough, so tough she says she couldn’t find any other way to make a living. ‘I filled out 20 or 30 applications,’ said Kimberly. ‘No call backs, no interviews, no nothing, so you know, I’ve decided to come down here to make money to live on my own and survive because the economy is bad.’ Kimberly went from applying to work at a day care facility or behind the counter at a department store, to getting on a plane and taking a job at a brothel… As Kimberly headed inside, ‘Madam Susan’ Austin, Mustang’s manager, explained that these are unique times and the world’s oldest profession is not immune. ‘I have more ladies coming in now than I ever did before because of the economic times,’ she said. ‘They’re all coming in. [It’s] the only way to make some decent money in this time and age. Jobs are not that many available because of the economic times and they can make more money doing this than they can flipping burgers at McDonald’s… ‘ The irony for Austin is that while the money is drying up, more women are applying for jobs. ‘And the age group is going older,’ she said. ‘I had a 72-year-old apply for a job.’” — ABC News (US)

(Thanks to Angela St Lawrence for the link.)

It’s always interesting to see how personal decisions can be influenced by historical moments. For those who view sex work askance, the choice to become a prostitute (escort, dominatrix, PSO, stripper, etc) might demonstrate a failure of morals. Most of the time, however, that choice has nothing to do with morals and everything to do with earning money or supporting a family. Now that the failing economy has entered into an almost apocalyptic phase — causing some to dub it the econoclypse — this will be truer than ever. Employers will contract. Menial jobs will dry up. People — and especially women — will face choices such as this: Is it better to earn minimum wage slinging hash at a Denny’s restaurant? Or to earn a pretty penny servicing men in another way?

It’s a practical choice, not a moral one. When you consider that sex has been decreasingly stigmatized over the past fifty years, the choice only gets easier to make. And if your concern is to combat prostitution or to help prostitutes, the way to do it is not by moralizing or by shoving religious pamphlets into the hands of streetwalkers. The way to do it is to create more non-sex work options. Actually, that suggests a thought experiment. Men being what they are — pigs — prostitution seems like an inevitable part of society. But what would happen if all financial incentives to participate in prostitution were removed? Would some people still choose to enter the profession for non-pecuniary reasons? Or would it disappear altogether, like the smallpox virus?

Category: Prostitution
Posted on 11/26/2008 7:04:41 AM by Supervert

Designer Vaginas: Protesters Speak Out Against Labiaplasty

“Plastic surgery for your breasts? How passé. Whether you’re looking for better sex or hoping to look like a 25-year-old porn star, now you can get your vulva plumped and sculpted too. As demand for these once secret procedures has picked up, so have concerns about the safety of permanently rearranging sex organs for a beauty fad that may be fleeting. Between 2005 and 2006, there was an increase of more than 20% in cosmetic gynoplasty. Alarmed at this trend, the New York–based group New View Campaign organized a demonstration this week outside the office of a cosmetic surgeon who performs the procedures. The group says doctors are preying on women’s ’self-critical anguish’ with untested techniques and Internet-fueled ideas about what’s normal. ‘Say No to Designer Vaginas!’ read a sign at the event, which included a protester dressed as a vulva before undergoing a labiaplasty (surgical reduction of the inner vaginal lips) and another who personified after. The number of labiaplasties in the U.K. apparently doubled from 2002–2007…” — Health.com (US)

New View Campaign were passing out some pretty good pins at their protest. Who wouldn’t want to adorn his or her backpack with a Love Your Vulva pin? Yes, love your vulva, why not?

Of course, there are a lot of different ways of expressing that love. For some, it may involve a hands-off attitude. Keep it natural. For others, their love might take a more hands-on form. They go after their vulva with the enthusiasm that dieters bring to a Richard Simmons show. The conundrum is that the folks in the “keep it natural” camp think they have a right to tell the people in the other camp what to do with their vulval love. They presume that they’re better informed and that the “sculpt my labia” types don’t understand the risk they’re running. This position is worthwhile so long as it confines itself to educational aims and doesn’t tilt over into moralizing. After all, there is nothing inherently wrong with performing aesthetic surgery on the genitalia. People do whackier things.

(For example, have you seen the Spankwire video yet? Here is a reaction video on YouTube. You can find there the link to the Spankwire thing. Note that the YouTube video is Safe For Work but the Spankwire thing is not. And really, don’t watch the Spankwire thing unless you’re up for something violent.)

If you bothered to watch the Spankwire video, the prospect of genital surgery won’t seem so awful. At least it happens in an office with a doctor who presumably knows what he is doing. In fact, one doctor quoted in the article talks about how competitive the field is becoming. Is there any doubt that “designer vaginas” and cosmetic genital surgery will continue to prosper in the future? There will be all sorts of funky things people do to their crotches. Maye one day they’ll even invent a vagina that looks like a penis, and vice versa.

Category: Genital
Posted on 11/24/2008 5:07:56 AM by Supervert

The Testicle of Adolf Hitler

“An extraordinary account from a German army medic has finally confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball. War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s, who wrote it down. The priest’s document has now come to light — 23 years after Johan’s death. The war tyrant’s medical condition has been mocked for years in a British song. The lyrics are: ‘Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty b****r, cut it off when he was small.’ Until now there has never been complete proof Hitler was monorchic — the medical term for having one testicle. But the document tells how Johan saw the proof with his own eyes. In the account, he relives the horror of serving as an army medic in World War I. He died aged 94 in 1985, but had told his secret to priest Franciszek Pawlar, who kept a note of their conversation. Johan’s friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed the priest’s account of how the medic saved Hitler’s life. He said: ‘In 1916 they had their hardest fight in the Battle of the Somme. For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers. He remembers Hitler. They called him the ‘Screamer’. He was very noisy. Hitler was screaming ‘help, help’. His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was: ‘Will I be able to have children?’.’ Blassius said that when the Nazis swept to power Johan began to suffer nightmares and blame himself for saving Hitler. Hitler’s genitals have long caused controversy. Some historians dismissed the ‘one ball’ song as propaganda. But an alleged Soviet autopsy on Hitler backed it up. Records show Hitler did suffer a groin injury in the Somme.” — The Sun (UK)

(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)

There is an old song that begins “Hitler has only got one ball” and asserts that “the other is on the kitchen wall.” Evidently the first line was true. The other ball, though, was probably left somewhere in the dirt during the Battle of the Somme. This information is neither new nor particularly relevant. It only serves to continue freakifying a guy whose freak profile really doesn’t need to be raised any further.

Nowadays we may have celebrity sex tapes, but the sex lives of historical figures have always been of great interest. People have been speculating about Hitler’s sexuality since he became a public figure. By all accounts, the Führer was perv. The women in his life had a tendency to try killing themselves after being involved with him. Many have argued — and several entire books have been dedicated to arguing — that Hitler was secretly homosexual. If the Nazis arrested homosexuals, the argument goes, it was because the Nazis were trying to find and suppress compromising information about their own homosexuality.

Even more to the point, Hitler and his one ball were apparently into scat. A 1943 Office of Strategic Services report labeled him an “impotent coprophile”:

Some [of Hitler’s associates] believe that he is a chronic masturbator. Some believe that he derives his sexual pleasure through voyeurism. Many believe that he is completely impotent. Others, and these are perhaps in the majority, that he is homosexual. It is probably true that he is impotent but he is certainiy not homosexual in the ordinary sense of the term. His perversion has quite a different nature which few have guessed. He is an extreme masochist who derives sexual pleasure from having a woman squat over him while she urinates or defecates on his face.

It is not difficult to begin making links between Hitler’s mutilated testes, his coprophilia, and his anti-semitism, as many psychologists have done. Hopefully, though, these links say less about Hitler than about the desire of psychologists to group hatred and perversion in a single category of negativity. After all, not every coprophile is a bigot. And given that most perversions are now less perverse than they were a generation ago, many people would doubtless find a golden shower less disgusting than anti-semitism. On YouTube there are countless reaction videos showing people watching 2 Girls, 1 Cup. But there aren’t any videos showing those simultaneously fascinated-but-appalled reactions to ethnic cleansing.

Category: Genital
Posted on 11/20/2008 11:26:44 PM by Supervert

Overweight Women More Likely To Report Ever Having Sex With A Man

“Researchers in the US found that women who were overweight were more likely to report ever having sexual intercourse with a man, but apart from that women’s sexual behavior did not vary by body mass index… researchers looked at the links between body mass index and a number of sexual behavior measures, including orientation, age at first intercourse, ever having had sex with a male partner, the number of partners and frequency of intercourse. The sexual behavior was categorized by body mass index (BMI) groups: Normal (under 25 kg/m2), overweight (25 to 30 mg/m2) and obese (over 30 kg/m2). The results showed that: BMI was not significantly linked to sexual orientation, age at first intercourse, frequency of heterosexual intercourse, and the number of lifetime or current male partners; Overweight and obese women were more likely to report ever having had sexual intercourse with a male partner… The authors concluded that: ‘With the exception of ever engaging in sexual intercourse with a man, sexual behavior differs little between women of different body mass indices.’ Lead author Dr Bliss Kaneshiro an assistant professor at the University of Hawaii told the press that: ‘These results were unexpected and we don’t really know why this is the case.’” — Medical News Today (US)

Here is the abstract for the original research article (which you can purchase, if you care to). The report’s conclusion, a surprising result, makes it difficult whether to say there is really a correlation between BMI and sexual behavior or between BMI and volubility. In other words, are larger women more likely to have sex with a man? Or are they simply more likely to talk about it? Are big women bigger sluts? Or do they just have bigger mouths?

Interestingly, this result seems to be part of a larger “thin backlash.” There are still plenty of models with waists the size of an ice pick, but women — and, more influentially, advertisers — seem to be fixating less on thinness. Another team of researchers in the news has written a report showing that thin models actually discourage product sales. These scientists “found that images of super-thin models carry no edge in encouraging young women to buy and for the majority of adult women ads showing skinny girls actually discouraged sales. So-called plus-size models, on the other hand, actually encouraged them to buy.” Reasons for this range from the fact that most people simply aren’t ultra-thin to the possibility, suggested by some studies, that larger women are actually more fertile. Curiously enough, it makes you wonder if feederism, in which a fetishist encourages the morbid obesity of his partner, isn’t a sort of overcorrective reaction to what may be the perversion that has been lying in plain sight — thinness.

Category: BBW
Posted on 11/18/2008 10:54:09 PM by Supervert

Bottom Fetish Man Jailed After Targeting Lone Women

“A sex offender with a ‘bottom fetish’ has been locked up indefinitely for targeting lone women in Mansfield. In 2001, Peter Johnson, 36, had served nine years in prison for the attempted rape of two women. But after his release, he touched women on the bottom on four different days in July this year. Jeremy Janes, prosecuting, told Nottingham Crown Court: ‘His present partner was working nights so he went out and got his kicks.’ Johnson followed at least 30 women and touched 15. But only four complained to police. The victims were described as traumatised, violated and scared Police caught Johnson following another woman. He had a lock-knife in his rucksack, with a blade just over three-inches long, which he claimed he carried for protection… ‘He has a bottom fetish,’ said Mr Janes… Johnson, now of no registered address, admitted four sexual assaults… The judge said he had no doubt more than one of the women thought she was going to be raped. ‘Women who are followed in this way and then treated as you treated them, and poked and touched as you touched them, are very understandably put in a very fearful situation. You persisted in this conduct.’” — This Is Nottingham (UK)

Here is a picture of Mr. Johnson, the bottom fetishist. He looks like he’s wearing plum lipstick and some rouge. He’s not the scariest looking guy. Then again, if you’re walking alone in the evening, having any man grab your ass can be a frightening experience — particularly if he’s emitting “I have a knife in my rucksack” vibes.

You can understand Mr. Johnson’s motivation without too much effort. Approximately four out of fifteen women complained to police about his behavior. Maybe a few more said “fuck off, jerk” or “leave me alone, creep.” It’s quite possible that being vilified or told off excited him too. Meanwhile he was running less than a one in five chance of suffering punitive consequences for his behavior. With an eighty percent chance of successfully groping an ass, it’s no wonder he was out there getting his kicks. Most pervs brave far steeper odds and far graver risks for their kicks.

Is this really a fetish, though? The ass is such a common part of sexual behavior that it’s almost redundant to say that a person has an ass fetish. It’s like saying a man has a vagina fetish or a woman has a dick fetish. After the genitalia — and not infrequently before the genitalia — the ass is the most common object of sexual desire. If you fixated on it in some special way or took your ass desires to some extreme length, perhaps your behavior would be fetishistic. But to be out groping? If that’s fetishistic, then half the male commuters in Tokyo suffer from the same affliction.

Category: Fetish
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:49:16 PM by Supervert

Transgender Man Elected Mayor

“This election marked the first African-American President. The first time in 40 years an Oregon Senate candidate beat an incumbent Senator. And in tiny Silverton, Oregon, residents have elected the man who’s believed to be the first ever openly transgender mayor in the United States. Stu Rasmussen served two terms as the Mayor of Silverton in the 1990s. But he hadn’t admitted to being transgender. He’s not the same man now that he was then. Today he wears a skirt and high heels. He has breast implants, and long red hair. He looks like a woman — but he’s not. ‘I identify mostly as a heterosexual male,’ Rasmussen said. ‘But I just like to look like a female.’ Rasmussen is a man. He even has a girlfriend. He says he’s always been transgender, but he only ‘came out’ a few years ago.” — KGW (US)

(Many thanks to Angela St. Lawrence for the link.)

Usually when you put politics and any form of deviance together in the same sentence, you end up with some desultory story about a public figure getting caught with his nose in the — well, not in the trough, but in the ass, or the armpit, or in the boys, or in the little girls, or in the toilet, or whatever. The story runs a predictable trajectory from there: exposure, shame, public apology, resignation from politics, and then, last but not least, the big-money tell-all book deal…

It’s that dreary procession of exposed politicians that forms a sort of humming in the background when you contemplate the election of Stu Rasmussen. His story is the exact opposite. He came out of his transgender closet and ran for office unashamed of the “real him,” so to speak. That makes him unique for two reasons — not only does he bring a little kink to his local mayoralty, he also brings what is likely a profound forthrightness. How often can you say that about a politician?

Category: Transvestitism
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:48:21 PM by Supervert

Craigslist Launches Crackdown On Prostitution Ads

“It’s about to get tougher for prostitutes to connect with clients through popular website Craigslist. People who want to post advertisements for erotic services will be required to use credit cards and phone numbers, which will be verified, before the ads are placed. Police will be able to subpoena the information. Connecticut’s Attorney General Richard Blumenthal and Jim Buckmaster, CEO of Craigslist reached the agreement to discourage prostitutes from using the site to find clients. It reaches 40 states. Forty million Americans visit Craigslist each month, according to information provided at a news conference Thursday. Buckmaster said he is confident this agreement will make Craigslist ‘very inhospitable’ for illegal activities. Craigslist has agreed to consider blocks and filters and has agreed to sue 14 companies that have circumvented its safeguards. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children also participated in the agreement.” — WBIR (US)

Craigslist had already implemented some forms of moderation. For example, users could flag posts offering frankly illegal services (which is why you couldn’t openly buy, say, the materials to build a radioactive bomb on Craigslist). In March 2008, Craigslist added another step to post to the “erotic services” category. Anyone posting an ad had to provide a phone number at which s/he could receive a verification code. Community moderation can be effective, but this phone-code business ultimately didn’t do a thing to stop prostitution. Thus lawmakers — in a fine show of ineffectual but self-serving election-year politicking — have pressured Craigslist into taking this new step.

Is it working? Is it making Craigslist “very inhospitable” for prostitution? It doesn’t seem to have made the slightest dent in the copious “erotic services” listings for New York. These providers were already giving phone numbers. There isn’t much harm for them to give credit card numbers as well — for the simple reason that the odds of Craigslist being subpoenaed for the card info for any one provider are astronomically slim. Hookers have been strutting past cops on the street for centuries. Why would they bat a painted eyelash over the fear of a circuitous subpoena? And what’s the subpoena prove anyway — that the provider posted an ad on the internet? Big whoop. The provider can always say it was an experiment, an art project, that s/he never had the slightest intention of servicing anyone, etc., etc.

Furthermore, it’s not exactly difficult to procure a credit card number nowadays. In department stores you can buy credit cards for cash. On the internet you can download stolen card numbers. Hell, half these providers accept credit card payments. (Try to search the erotic listings for “credit card.”) Meanwhile, The Deets has already done a study showing that prostitutes have hardly gone out of business. They’ve simply started using other services and other parts of Craigslist.

In sum, it is difficult to see how any good can come from lawmakers pressuring Craigslist into taking this step. Hookers and johns will find ways to connect. So long as they’re not pandering to one another outside elementary schools and playgrounds, there doesn’t seem much point in harassing them all.

Speaking of which, PervScan has been meaning for months to post a link to Dave’s Little Book of Prostitute Poetry, a compilation of hysterical poems written and emailed to providers advertising on Craigslist. If you’re going to harass escorts, doubtless this is the best way to do it — not with guns or laws but with verse.

Category: Prostitution
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:47:22 PM by Supervert

Panty News!

The other day PervScan reader Alban sent a link to the news item about a man who stole $1,067 worth of underwear from a Victoria’s Secret in Dallas. The story itself wasn’t particularly noteworthy, but Alban appended the simple comment: “Panty news!” The exclamation point suggested a sudden rush of possibilities — that there were readers anxious for news about panties and that PervScan wasn’t fulfilling its obligation to them. It was hard not to imagine readers visiting the site with the expectations that little children have before unwrapping their xmas gifts, only to be crestfallen when they see that, yet again, PervScan has failed to provide an adequate dose of panty news. “Oh no,” these disillusioned readers must think. “It’s just bestiality again…”

To redress the wrong, here is an entire anthology of — panty news!

So far as the Dallas story is concerned, there isn’t much to it. A man with a female accomplice stole 130 pairs of panties. Are they all for the woman? For the man? Are the pair going to resell the underthings? It’s impossible to say. One columnist, however, wrote a very humorous reaction to the incident, declaring that this is simply the kind of thing that happens when a man is overwhelmed by all the frilly pink goodness to be found at Victoria’s Secret. “Ladies, of course, see this guy as a loon. Men, however, understand his emotions. Victoria’s Secret makes us freak out… Men like panties like moths like flames, like deserts like rain, like Raiders like really bad football. But if we’re hanging out at tables of panties and look like we’re enjoying ourselves, we’re branded as freaks. And before you know it, we’re being wrestled down by mall security or hustling to the getaway car…”

Of course, this panty thief is not alone. In recent news, there was the “Naked Japan major nabbed with women’s underwear” who was “caught naked while shopping for women’s underwear.” Pity him when he gets back to his air force buddies. Then again, perhaps soldiers have a particular thing for panties. Recently there was also the “BDF soldier caught with stolen panties.” This guy stole the panties from his buddy’s wife. Another “panty pilferer” apparently stole them not for sexual gratification but to resell. You wonder who buys underwear from a random guy on a street corner. How do you know he’s not powdering the crotch with anthrax spores?

Those interested not in stealing but in buying panties might want to check out a new site called HerPantyClub. If you join the site, they send you a new pair of panties every month. Each one comes with a unique story “written from the point of view of the panty with the panty taking on the persona of your intimate friend.” The stories tend toward purple prose. “I remember the first time she put me on. It was as if we were meant to be together forever. I could feel her long velvety legs as she pulled me gently over her calf. I could see her freshly buffed bare toenails and smell the warm bath that she had just come from…” You get the idea.

Finally, if you want neither to steal nor to buy panties, you might want to donate them to a good cause. Panties for Peace is an organization that encourages people to send their panties to Burmese foreign missions in a symbolic protest against the “Myanmar junta’s violent crackdown of monks-led rallies.” Why panties? Evidently because “the generals ruling Myanmar are superstitious and they believe that touching panties or the traditional women’s outfit sarong will eliminate their powers.” There have even been on-campus panty drives. “‘You take these to Rangoon… and you get shot,’ explains Mika Lévesque, holding a pair of panties with a flower-shaped sticker of the Burmese junta pasted on the bum.”

Category: Miscellaneous
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:46:24 PM by Supervert

Nudists Won’t Get Own Polling Site

“Go ahead and make your jokes about optical scans. The nudists at Caliente Resort have asked Pasco County elections officials to set up a clothing-optional polling place for their community. Brian Corley, Pasco’s supervisor of elections, dismissed the request as a publicity stunt. ‘I think they’re just doing some marketing hype,’ said Corley, adding he heard there was a news release by Caliente touting its request. Corley said the request came a few weeks ago, and there’s not enough time to set up a new polling place for this election. Even for 2010 would be difficult, he said. He said he prefers not to create new precincts outside the reapportionment of voting districts every 10 years… ‘Polling places, you don’t tinker with them before apportionment unless you have to,’ he said. Plus there are more practical considerations. Nothing in state law prohibits a nudist polling place, but how would the clerks and deputies wear their badges? ‘Even if I was behind what they were asking for — which I explained I am not — it’s just too much to ask right now,’ Corley said. Caliente residents currently go about two miles north on U.S. 41, to precinct 70 at The Groves clubhouse, to vote… County Commissioner Pat Mulieri, whose central Pasco district includes the resort, doubted the need for a new precinct. Creating a new one would cost money, so there would need to be a good reason to do it, she said. ‘They can do absentees,’ she said. ‘They can do early voting — I mean, they do leave the place.’” — TampaBay.com (US)

Tuesday is election day here in America. By the time you read this, the elections will be winding to their conclusion. A new president will be on his way to the White House. Will he have garnered support from the naked portion of the great unwashed? Will nudists, feeling suppressed by clothing-mandatory polling sites, have stepped into their voting booths, unbuckled their pants, and — well, pulled their lever?

By all accounts, the voter turnout this year has been extremely high. In future years, however, when cynicism sets back in and voters become apathetic again, perhaps politicians should recollect this little publicity stunt in Florida. Folks may not be lured to the polls by the option of taking off their own clothes — but they may well be lured by the prospect of seeing other people get naked. Or imagine if a presidential candidate him- or herself were to endorse nudism. “A vote for me is a vote for nudity,” s/he might say. Imagine if Sarah Palin declared something like, “If elected, I will pose naked in the Oval Office…” You think it would have garnered her ticket more votes?

Category: Politics
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:45:27 PM by Supervert

Cow Delivers “Human Baby”

“Namibia has its share of strange happenings, such as some men being caught red-handed in acts of bestiality with goats or cows, but strangest of them all is the recent event in which a cow reportedly gave birth to a ‘human baby’ at a remote village in Caprivi… Theories abound but one that seems to prevail is that it might be a case of bestiality gone wrong, though scientifically-speaking it is impossible for a man to sire a calf. But as stranger than fiction as it may seem, the birth of the half-cow, half-human described by Masubia Chief Kisco Liswani III as having a human face and the tiny hands of a human baby with tiny fingers complete with fingernails occurred recently at Kabulabula… Immediately after being informed about the birth, the chief relayed this information to the regional police chief but until yesterday the police had not yet attempted to probe a potential case of bestiality or whatever might be the case, annoying the khuta in the process. Though the half-human, half-cow creature had bovine features, villagers are so convinced it was human that when it died they buried it at the local graveyard for humans. Since villagers are usually buried in rudimentary coffins fashioned from reeds, this creature was also buried in a ‘coffin’ made from this material abundant in that area, but it is not clear whether any local priest conducted the last rites with the Bible, as is normally the case. But the chief says the police together with his khuta should exhume this ‘body’ and get to the bottom of the saga, while Induna Ikosa who is also conducting a parallel probe has not ruled out the possibility of a case of bestiality gone terribly wrong, saying bestiality exists.” — NewEra.com (US)

This is what happens when modern media meets unmodern (to put it politely) cultures. Something freaky happens. It gets misinterpreted. The “news” floats up and out. The news outlets typically have more to gain by being entertaining than true — thus this article, while mentioning that it is impossible for a human to impregnate a cow, lays heavy emphasis on the bestiality angle.

Science is quite clear that this cannot be the result of bestiality. However, it’s entirely possible that something freakish was born. Not long ago there was the “alien” creature born from a cow. The pictures seem pretty convincing that some physical oddity briefly graced the face of the earth. The bestiality hypothesis is less convincing than the possibility that the oddity is nothing more than what it is — an oddity. Probably the cow with a human face was nothing more than that too. Last year there was a stillborn dog with a humanoid face too.

Interestingly, although science says it is impossible for a cow-fucker to impregnate a cow, science itself is able to do some inter-species gene splicing. To further stem-cell research, scientists recently wanted to create a human-animal embryo. One scientist admitted, “It does seem a little abhorrent at first analysis, but you have to understand we are using very, very little information from the cow in order to do this reprogramming idea. It’s not our intention to create any bizarre cow-human hybrid, we want to use those cells to understand how to make human stem cells better.” You can’t help but wonder, though, what might happen if this technology were to fall in the hands of perverts and bestialists….

Category: Bestiality
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:44:28 PM by Supervert

Fury Over Cat Eating Festival

“Animal rights groups are up in arms over an annual festival in Peru that serves up hundreds of fried cats to locals. The ‘Gastronomical Festival of the Cat‘ — dubbed the ‘Massacre of the Moggies’ — sees townsfolk in Canete, near Lima, feast on the fluffy pets for two days. They believe that eating cat burgers — and fried cat legs and tails — can cure bronchial disease. It is also believed that feline meat serves as an aphrodisiac. The cats are bred especially for this festival — which takes place at the end of September on the Day of Santa Ifigenia. But it has generated fury among animal rights groups. A PETA spokesman said: ‘If Peruvians really eat poor old Moggy because they think his meat cures bronchitis, that’s about as bizarre as it gets, although remember that Asians eat monkey bits thinking that will cure their impotence and even Europeans butcher poor old Bessie the cow or Henny Penny the hen, because they see them as nothing more than a bit of nourishment.’” — The Sun (UK)

So you’re sitting on a barstool somewhere and a guy comes up to you and says, “Let’s go down to the Gastronomical Festival of the Cat and get really wild…” Wild? What do you mean? “Wild — like, we’ll stuff ourselves with cat burgers and romp our way through town like sailors on shore leave…” Cat burgers? “Oh man, yes, cat burgers, the ecstasy tablet made of pure unadulterated cat meat, the viagra of Peru…”

Sound like an episode from a Surrealist novel? Why, yes. But you can experience this freaky scene if you break through the human chain of PETA protestors and head on down to the Massacre of the Moggies. Probably it is indeed a wild time — not because cat meat is an aphrodisiac, but because the group delusion that it stokes the fires of love will encourage people to let loose. There must be copious drinking as well. But what do Peruvians drink with cat meat — white wine, perhaps? Tequila? Moonshine?

Category: Aphrodisiac
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:43:30 PM by Supervert

Careworkers Allegedly Ordered To Masturbate Intellectually Impaired Clients

“Investigations are underway after a group of former support workers for intellectually impaired people say they were ordered to help those in their care to masturbate. New Zealand Care, the former employer of the six Nelson women concerned, has denied the allegations. One of the women is still employed by New Zealand Care. The women claim the orders were made during three staff training sessions over the past 18 months — the reason being that clients had the right to be masturbated and that should be done by the care giver. However, New Zealand Care says the women may have mistaken a general ethical discussion for orders. It was supposed to be that if a client required it, a sex worker could be hired, rather than for care workers to carry out masturbation of clients. New Zealand Care is investigating the allegations.” — 3News.co.nz (NZ)

You know that famous poem by Wallace Stevens, “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird?” This story about careworkers — er, carewankers? — invites three ways of looking at it. First, if your eyes just glance quickly over the headline, you might well misread it and think the workers were only ordered to “masturbate intellectually.” Second, you might well think, “Hell, if caregivers are giving out free handjobs, I might want to get myself committed to one of these homes.” Third, you might then look at a picture of one of the careworkers — and this will probably decide you to administer your self-pleasure yourself. That lady looks like she would tear your dick off.

Unlike the blackbird, though, none of these vantage points provide obvious subject matter for a poem. Anyone care to try, say, a sonnet or sestina? Or perhaps haiku would be better…

I need my paycheck
The disabled have needs too
I stroke the retard

Or if you prefer to have a more serious discussion about the sexual needs of the mentally disabled, you might have a look at the comments on the recent Medium Denies Oral Sex with Autistic Man.

Category: Masturbation
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:42:32 PM by Supervert

Man Urinates On Dog After Owner Spurns Sex

“A 36-year-old man took revenge on his roommate after she refused to have sex with him by allegedly urinating on her dog, police said. Police said the man was arrested early Thursday morning on tentative charges of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct related to domestic violence. According to police reports, the man was drunk when he argued with the woman. After she resisted his advances the man went to the basement where he urinated on her dog and the floor. Police said the argument continued, and when the woman’s sister stood up in defense the man pushed her into a wall. He then allegedly stormed from the home and punched out a window.” — Associated Press (US)

(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)

Jesus, one minute you’re hanging out on a throw rug in the basement. Maybe you’re gnawing on a bone or you’re picking fleas out of your fur. The next minute some drunken idiot is pissing on you. For a shocked moment you’re not sure what’s going on. A bath? But wait — you’re a dog. You know that smell. If you could talk, you’d bark out something like, “What the fuck? You wig or something? I’m man’s best friend!” They don’t call it a dog’s life for nothing.

Evidently this is less a story about sex than about drink. It’s one thing to have blue balls when you’re all worked up and can’t get laid. It’s another thing to decide that peeing on a mutt is a good way of exacting revenge. If he were sober when pursuing this line of retribution, you might think that the guy knew that the reticent victim liked a good golden shower. “I’ll show her what she’s missing,” a sober guy might have thought. But a drunk? He was just pissing a stream of pure stupid anger out of his system.

Of course, this guy and his victim were roommates. Hopefully the dog went into his room and took a dump in his underwear drawer. That would put the dog ahead of the man in understanding the “eye for an eye” principle of retaliation.

Categories: Coprophilia Bestiality
Posted on 11/16/2008 10:41:34 PM by Supervert

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