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Sex Diary

Toys

A little while ago I created some Top 10 Toys' lists for Lovehoney. Dimwit that I am, I've forgotten to mention them until now, but if anyone's interested, here are the sex toys I recommend for Women, Men, and (straight) Couples. A quick thank you to the boys who helped me, um, research these. I hope it was as much fun for you as it was for me...

Posted on 12/17/2008 11:03:10 PM by thegirl

Approach

Apparently – and I'm not sure when this happened: maybe I'm out of the loop, somewhat – it has now become acceptable for someone to say "You look up for it!" when they are chatting you up, with no hint of irony, sarcasm or humour whilst doing so. "Really?" I said, taking a physical step back from the man who decided to use that line on me last night and who had manoeuvered himself to the point

Posted on 12/5/2008 5:17:26 PM by thegirl

Facts*

I want to be judged purely on the basis of my appearance. I love it that men might think me attractive, because, like, that’s all that matters to me. I feel validated if men want to fuck me: the more that do, the merrier. I think it’s great that how I look is more important than what I have achieved. I want to teach young girls that to get ahead in life, all they need is cosmetic surgery. They

Posted on 11/24/2008 5:08:01 AM by thegirl

Gel

I am annoying. Very annoying. I am well aware I might irritate people and not only because I’m incredibly bossy, stupidly neurotic, or due to my frequently laughing at my own, unfunny, jokes. No, besides all that, there’s another reason I get on some folks’ nerves and it is this: I orgasm very, very easily. Back in the days when this blog was just an anonymous obsession (rather than it now

Posted on 11/13/2008 6:09:50 PM by thegirl

Reload

Things I am doing today: repeatedly clicking 'reload page' here and grinning, widely, from ear to ear, as I watch the donations increase, and the silent majority finally speaking out. It's a brilliant campaign: I cannot wait to see the posters on the buses.

Posted on 10/21/2008 11:53:48 AM by thegirl

Opportunity

My dating life being fucked? Well, I suppose I could always take up one of the generous offers I receive: Email: tom[redacted]@yahoo.com Subject: i want no strings fun Message: hi zoe im tom i want no strings fun with you i seen you on tv im 30 with brown hair want a SHAG OK MY NUMBA IS 07[redacted] TXT IF CAN N WILL RING U BK WEN DA WIFES NOT AROUND I WOULD LOVE URE TITS IN MY FACE WITH U ON

Posted on 10/13/2008 6:48:40 AM by thegirl

Dating

The problem with being known as a sex diarist? Your reputation precedes you. Not so much in the ‘what a slut, shagging all those blokes’ way (although I still receive obnoxious emails and comments to that effect – hello, haterz!) but more in the ‘I have certain expectations of you and those are pretty fixed’ presumptions people make. So, when I meet guys now and am introduced as “Girl with a one

Posted on 10/9/2008 4:22:04 AM by thegirl

Event

This is my 600th post on this blog. I feel like I should mark the occasion in some way, but sadly there is nothing of interest to report. Certainly not to Valleywag, anyway. Perhaps my new moniker should be that I am a "resting" sex diarist? Or who is just very busy licking purple, plastic, ice cubes... I've recently discovered that the documentary about me is being repeated on TV today and

Posted on 9/12/2008 4:08:54 PM by thegirl

Holloway

It might have been more than two years since I lost my anonymity but I still get a little thrown when someone I've never met before greets me by saying, "Oh I know who you are, I've been reading your blog from the early days," and then mentions a memorable post from way back that they particularly enjoyed reading. Knowing the exact post they reference, I then blush and mumble and revert to a

Posted on 9/11/2008 1:52:42 PM by thegirl

Body

Sometimes I hate being skilled in reading people's body language. I often wish I could look at a person's interaction with completely fresh eyes, and not be able to interpret their interest, or otherwise, in me. It would be so nice to spend time with someone and wonder what their tapping foot meant; or their averted gaze; or the micro-expression produced with the quick downward turn of their

Posted on 9/6/2008 2:32:05 AM by thegirl

Look

As you may have noticed (or not), after more than four and a half years, there's finally a new look to the blog, courtesy of the genius that is Gordon, who, lovely person that he is, has put up with my various - and multiple - demands for many weeks now. I think he's done a fabulous job; I love the design. And it's about 3 gazillion times better than I would have managed, had my inept,

Posted on 8/30/2008 10:28:12 AM by thegirl

Projections

Recently I was introduced to a concept that really resonated with me. Whatley describes his philosophy* as the ‘Five Projections of Love’: “The five projections of love are touch, time, words, actions and presents. Every single act of love can be defined by one of the above. We all like all five, all of us do… in varying ways. But on average, we each tend to favour two or three over the others…

Posted on 8/28/2008 8:23:47 AM by thegirl

Email

Me: Is it too flirtatious? Badman: No. It's aggressive. Me: Fuck. Really? Bugger. Badman: You're the big bad Sex Blogress. You have no idea the impact you have on people. Even though you and I know you're just a girl. Me: Oh Christ. I'm stuck, I really am. Badman: You're not stuck, you're being neurotic. Snap out of it. Me: Sorry, I can’t help it. … Badman: Subtlety. You need subtlety. Me:

Posted on 8/12/2008 12:05:08 PM by thegirl

Panel

Earlier this year I spoke on a panel, Sexual Privacy Online at South By Southwest Interactive in Austin, Texas. I enjoyed the experience so much (both the debate and also the festival) that I've now submitted my own panel, Bloggers: You're Fired! for next year's event. This is where you come in: all panels get voted on by the public and then the SXSWi committee and staff, so the more votes my

Posted on 8/9/2008 10:15:40 AM by thegirl

Sentence

I'm not usually one for memes but I'm making an exception for this, because I found Troubled Diva's replies so interesting I felt compelled to add my own in the hope that others might enjoy them too. Plus, of course, I'm always up for bashing out a quick one. Here goes: 1. My uncle once: used to be friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger. The stories I could tell… (But won't: I'm not risking a libel

Posted on 8/7/2008 7:54:24 AM by thegirl

Stay

I met someone when I was in New York last month. Sweet, funny, and with a wicked laugh: I liked him instantly. Not to mention, of course, his boyish good looks, sparkly eyes and forest-like chest hair; they also had an effect on me. I’ve been known to be shallow at times, and god was he handsome; he oozed sexiness from his every pore. But even given his sex appeal, it was his warmth, charm and

Posted on 8/6/2008 6:15:57 AM by thegirl

FAIL

I was trying to think of a way to write something here, without, actually, you know, divulging anything; not saying anything that could be misinterpreted, taken too seriously, or, worse, make me sound like the neurotic twat that I really am. Sometimes I look back at the archives here and cringe; but it’s the emotional vulnerability I‘ve shared that embarrasses me far more than the sexual

Posted on 8/6/2008 6:14:58 AM by thegirl

Banksy

Nicolas Hellen, you’re in good company*! The artist Banksy has – supposedly – been ‘outed’ as a nice middle-class boy. Wow! Shock, horror!! This is big news!!! Or really, as one of the commenters states on this sad excuse for an article, “Who cares?”. Well, exactly. Who gives a shit who Banksy is, and how does it make a difference knowing his supposed social strata? His work is his work –

Posted on 8/6/2008 6:13:59 AM by thegirl

Sex

A few days ago, someone commented on a piece I wrote elsewhere. I felt it off-topic there, but relevant here, and worthy of a decent response, so I shall attempt to answer the points made. “…before she was outed by the media, I read Zoes [sic] blog, as did my boyfriend. And afterwards we both agreed unanimously that it had to have been written by a man.” I have had this accusation levelled at

Posted on 8/6/2008 6:12:59 AM by thegirl

Whore

Him, that is, not me. Although perhaps after watching this interview that he conducted with me people might disagree.

Posted on 8/6/2008 6:12:00 AM by thegirl

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